(Closed) NEED ADVICE! Long but please hear me out!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

hugs.. u will get through it… the song -god will let you bend but not let you break… cangt remember total song title… anyways life gets better. i suffered depression probably 8 years did the med thing, did lots of counseling. best thing was leaving my ex husband.  circumstances and obsticles make life rough but they are there to help u find God’s love, find strength, make u come back to God. . i felt like i dont deserve gods love for lots of reasons but he will never forsake you and leave you. just cry out to him. ur church pastor if u are comfortable doing that..

 

BIG HUGS!!!!

Post # 4
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I also struggle with depression. It is good that you are seeing a counseler about this. PM me if you want. I know that it helps me to talk with someone who has gone through it.

Post # 5
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Been there, still doing that.  I lost my grandmother on my birthday last year and for the better part of the year I have been struggling. P.m me if you like, sometimes it helps to talk to people that “get it”

Post # 7
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

πŸ™ i am so sorry you are going through this!!

i suffered major depression in college after my mom died. i managed to stave it off until about a year and a half after, and then it hit me with such force i honestly felt crushed by it a lot of times. added to the loss of my mother was the fact that my close group of friends went from being down the hall to scattered throughout the college town i lived in, across the country with transfers or across the world with study abroad. the harder things became for me to deal with the more my school work suffered which only made me feel worse because i was always “the smart one” and wasnt that the ONLY thing i was there to do?? it just kept feeding into itself, getting worse and worse… so yes, i totally get where you are coming from

i was in a relatively new relationship at that time and we did make it through because of a few things:

1) he was generally a rockstar. he knew who i was inside and kept hold of that when things got really rough. he was patient and knew when to give me space, but he also knew enough to not let me wallow allllllllll the time. even when it caused fights, he was willing to put himself out there to get me out and about, which went a long way to keeping our relationship alive.

2) i got really into journaling. it was really great to have a place to lay my feelings out before things exploded and he became an innocent bystander.  i am old, so my journaling was on opendiary.com, which may or may not exist anymore, but was helpful because i was able to sit at the computer and feel a sense of release, and i started to ride that positive feeling to force myself to do SOMETHING for school, which in turn helped me feel a lot better.

and most importantly,

3) i asked for help. i got to the point where i felt like i was not living anything remotely close to the life i wanted for myself and i told my bf that i needed something to change… i cannot tell you how happy i am everyday of my life that i made that walk down to campus health services. i look at my life now and i know that without counseling none of this would be here, i probably wouldnt even be here. for me, the right route was a mild antidepressant coupled with weekly counseling sessions. people have all sorts of opinions on medication and if its not for you, thats fine. i am only sharing that it helped me because honestly, the change was pretty much instantaneous. it really helped me feel like i was in a place to focus and talk about the issues that were causing my depression. i was freed up to work on developing coping skills through my therapy. i would have gotten to that point regardless with the therapy, but it happened much more quickly with the antidepressant. (i only took the pill for about 4 months and then no longer needed it.

also, i sucked it up and talked with my professors. my counselor had given me a note which helpd start the dialogue. i took incompletes in a few classes and finished them up over the summer. i did fail a couple classes too, but i felt like at least i knew what was happening with them and i was dealing with it. it was a major relief.

ultimately, i did break up with that bf, but it had nothing to do with depression when it happened (that’s a whole other story!)… we dated for a few years after i got through everything.

i wish there was an easy fix but i hope that at least sharing helped you know that you are not alone. you mentioned that you are religious. i dont know a lot about church related services, but i am guessing there is a pastor you could talk to about your spiritual concerns, and i really want to encourage you to keep seeing your counselor unti the end of the year and then please please please find a support system at home. it sounds like you will need it with all the stressors that are waiting there too!

also, you and your bf have been together for a long time, let him know whats going on with you. you dont have to give him the full details, but clue him in so that he can help. he loves you and he knows you. let him support you!

definitely PM me if you need to talk!

 

 

Post # 8
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@bostongirl27:  amazing advice, honestly.

@dirtybaybee93: HUGS! i go through and have been going through what you are dealing with everyday since i was a teenager, and now im getting married. You need to be strong and know that you have someone, anyone, around who wants to see you succeed and be happy no matter what is going on. i feel so bad for my fiance sometimes because i know i retreat from him when the depression really kicks in. for example, we got engaged on new years eve and i cried for a week straight. it should have been the happiest week of my life. and i snap at anyone when they ask me about the wedding stuff because i just cant deal with the mood swings. i am genuinely happy but the emotions sometimes overpower the happiness.

you’re strong enough to admit that you may need help. the one thing i can contribute that i did was to go to doctor (regular physician) and tell him/her about these feelings. they can send you for a blood test that will look for high levels of estrogen, testosterone, thyroid things and can determine if you have any insulin or chemical imbalances that are making you feel this way. i did this as a teen and learned that my blood sugar and insulin were all messed up – and the number one symptom of it was mood swings. horrible, horrible, mood swings. (also depression when you have pms is another symptom). just get checked out! its better to know whats going on so you can actively get things together and more importantly, feel better!

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