(Closed) Need advice!! (Mother-in-law)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
9024 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with

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@MrsSl82be:

Post # 21
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@buzzingbride7:

I meant the part about her wanting your ex to terminate his parental rights.

Post # 24
Member
1655 posts
Bumble bee

See, I feel as though you have every right to be upset. I would be mad, too if I was in this situation. I know that isn’t the popular opinion, but it’s mine all the same. I would feel like my Mother-In-Law is choosing his ex, who isn’t the best person, over me and I would feel VERY WEIRD about that!

I can appreciate how hard it is for you, especially since his ex is such a brat. and I’m sorry, I realize that having a court written document over custody is VERY important but the week before your wedding?! REALLY? I would have been throwing things if I were in your shoes.

Unfortunately, this behavior form your Mother-In-Law doesn’t seem like it is going to change. She must have a very good relationship with your hubby’s ex to be acting the way she does. Eventhough she did your man wrong, his mom is obviously looking past all of this and is able to forge a relationship with her. I know it sucks and I would feel the exact same way, but maybe this is time for a new start? Put all of your bitterness aside and try to get along with her. Try to be her friend. It may be hard and it may not work, but at leas you would have tried. Then, if she is making you two being friends impossible, then get mad and have a talk with your Mother-In-Law have honestly talk with her about how you feel without making her look like a terrible person. Your Mother-In-Law isn’t a bad person, but I just think she is trying very ahrd to please everyone!

Good luck with all of this, I hope it helps!!!

Post # 25
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

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@buzzingbride7: Listen, your mother-in-law doesn’t have to hate someone just because you do. The world doesn’t work that way (okay maybe when we’re kids, but not as adults).

Your Mother-In-Law was there before you were and probably knows a lot more about the ex than even you do. If she wants to exchange gifts and be cordial with the mother of her grandchild, I don’t think you trying to interfere in their relationship (by going to the Mother-In-Law and voicing how annoyed you are) is going to end well.

The ex could REALLY make things miserable for you with custody issues, I’ve seen it happen in other relationships, and I think by “expressing” your distaste (whether controlled or not) you are going to make a problem. I hope not for the child’s sake.

 

Post # 28
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@buzzingbride7: Wow we have such a similar situation.,., My husband too had a baby at a very young age with his ex..(they were 16) now he’s in his late 20’s..  It was always a problem with the ex, we just got to a point where my husband and I just don’t care anymore.. Just leave it alone, I have been dealing with your same issue for yrs now and I’ve gotten the better result when i just ignored it..From the ex, and Mother-In-Law.. Good Luck

Post # 29
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

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@buzzingbride7: I reworded it after I reread what I posted. See the thing is I feel there has to be more to the story. You say your Mother-In-Law didn’t like her at first and isn’t into confrontation, okay, but then why would she be giving her presents? It is one thing to politely smile and talk small talk if you’re afraid of confrontation, but it is another to actively give gifts and constantly text which indicates that somewhere deep down your Mother-In-Law likes her.

I also think that your issues with how she treats your husband are mixed in with how you feel about your Mother-In-Law keeping in contact with her all the time.

Is your Mother-In-Law mistreating you in any way? Is she favoring the baby’s mother and treating you like dirt? I think that would be another story entirely.

Post # 30
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

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@buzzingbride7: I see where you are coming from, but not knowing anything about your Mother-In-Law, ti could cause a lot of drama. Only you know how she woudl react to you telling her how you feel

Post # 31
Member
1655 posts
Bumble bee

Sounds like a mess. I honestly don’t know what to tell you but I wish you all of the luck in the world with this one!!

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