- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I am going to try and make this as easy to read and follow as possible.
<br />- My husband and I have been married for 10 months (to the day) today. Dating for 4 years
– Before I met my husband, his parents were in a very bad accident on a major highway here, they were rear-ended by a semi truck
– Both my husbands parents were unable to work post-accident and spent years settling the incident in court
– My husband has a set of twin brothers, they are younger (DH is 27, twins are 25); one lives aprx 4.5 hours from us (and about an hour or so from his parents.. his parents live 6 hous from us) and is single, the other is very recently married (whole other drama-filled story) and lives out of province
– My MIL, since I have met her has been erratic and self described as ‘crazy’
– My DH and both his brothers affectionally referred to their mother as ‘crazy’
– Starting about a year ago (prewedding) my MIL started exhibiting some extra ‘crazy’ behaviour
– I will be the first to admit that my MIL and I have never really gotton along. Respected each other.. yes. But I always felt that my MIL resented that I had taken DH away from her
– When this ‘extra crazy’ behaviour surfaced, I brought it up to DH and he basically accused me of being mean to his mom
– More and more things began to happen to concern me/occur between my MIL and I/occur between my DH and I
– My DH and I ONLY ever fight about money (who doesn’t) and his mother
– As stated above my hudband’s parents live 6 hours from us (we moved for hubby’s job)
– To try and sum up a REALLY long story; my DH’s parents recently got their settlement from the accident (within the year, large-ish sum of money, we’re unsure of actual amount), and my MIL purchased a house in our city (with intentions to rent out the house as an income), a large cube van (in case she needed to pick large things up for her new house) and spent a RIDICULOUS amount of money on other things.
– She also accumulated 15ish cats (for a total over 22)
– She began staying with us for extended periods of time while her revoation was being completed.. and a problem arose because she began just showing up at our house and expecting to stay for a few days or a week at a time
– I brought this up to DH that I would like some notice and he was to talk to her
– DH did not talk to her because ‘you know how my mom is, she just gets upset and cries…’
– One night my DH and I discussed the topic of MIL randomly showing up (‘Hey! I’m 1/2 an hour away and I have fried chicken!’), and I talked to my MIL in a calm and respective manner and said that I would really appeciate some notice as to when she will be staying. MIL FREAKED out and packed her bags and cried and said that I was right and that she shouldn’t be staying with us. DH begged her to stay. She stayed.
– Shows up again randomly, my DH was out of town and I happened to have 2 gfs over for dinner and drinks and my MIL made a huge scene. After my friends left she came out of her room sobbing and raving about how we all treated her. She left in the middle of the night (after I went to bed).
<br />- This really came to a head the NEXT time she showed up unannounced. She told DH she was in town and did not say she was staying with us. Came over for dinner the next night.. (I was not home for this) and told my DH she had spent the previous night in her van. DH begged her to stay and she apparently said ‘but the MRS will be mad’ and DH said that he would ‘deal with me’
– I got home and was SUPER pissy and went to bed immediately. My MIL started banging on my bedroom door screaming at me to get out of there and talk to her. To sum things up, she ranted and raved and screamed at me, calling me names etc in the middle of my house while DH stood in the middle (I might have yelled a little too).
– She tried to leave, DH begged her to stay (sound familiar??) but she left
– DH tells me that I need to go apologize to her the next day
– The next day i DID go apologize for the RUDE way I acted when I got home. I reiterated to her that I wanted to know when she needed to stay and that it was silly that she was sleeping in her van.
<br />Anyways, at this point in time, hubby stil denied that something was wrong with his mom and still thought I was being really mean and catty.
<br />Flash forward, hubby spent 2 weekends alone with his parents (because he could not get a hold of them through the phone, panicked and drove there). My MIL is experiancing EXTREME mood swings, EXTREME paranoia, voices in her head, etc etc etc.
<br />Hubby finally admits there might be something wrong. And 2 brothers that were prevously mentioned SAID THEY DON’T WANT TO HELP.
<br />What I am getting to is that as hard as I know this is for my husband… I am SO ANGRY. And frustrated. And scared. Hubby won’t let me be involved at all because he wants to do it all himself.
<br />Also the FIL? Completely useless. He is the biggest yes-man I have ever met in my life. Does not want to cause trouble with his wife because she is the boss.
He acts like nothing is wrong, and is making things even more difficult. <br /><br /><br />How the heck are we supposed to look after his parents when we’re so young ourselves?? We’re supposed to have babies!!
<br />I just want to scream and cry.
<br />My husband left last week Wednesday to Saturday, got home and was so optimistic things were going well. He had taken his mom to the DR and got some medication and she was doing well.
<br />He gets a call today from his grandma (MIL’s mother), panicked saying that his mom needed his help again and that ‘things are only good when he’s there’.<br />So hubby took off again to go try and fix things.<br /><br /><br /><br />I’m probably a terrible wife… but I just… I’m sad for ME. And US.<br /><br /><br /><br />We were going to start TTC next month and now I just don’t know if we should. We kind of have a lot on our plate right now.<br /><br /><br /><br />Thoughts, suggestions, comments? Please!