- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
I’m hoping that all the great advice I’ve seen from bees here will help me get some perspective on my situation. I have a friend that I met through work let’s call her “Sarah”. We’ve been friends for about a year. We talk and text very few days and hang out ,mainly we go for walks with her dogs. When we met we discovered that he live down the street from each other. I often walk her dog when she asks as I’m really fond of him. I love dogs but I don’t have one.
The problem is the way she treats me, at times. Example, we arrange to get together and texts and tells me she’s running late. Keeps me waiting for over an hour and then tells me she’s decided to do something else. It’s strange but she can, at times, be very self centered. I’ve confronted her about a lot of her behavior and she’s apologized. The worst conflicts seem to be at work. She a long term employee, I’ve been there about a year. She sees herself as management when she not, really she’s just a long term employee. She can be bossy that doesn’t really bug me as it can help our team if were busy and unorganized. Sometimes she doesn’t have a lot of tact and that can rub some the wrong way. Also, she seems to think that nobody can do the job as well as she can. If it’s not done her way it’s the wrong way, that kind of thing. Without getting into all of the incidents in the past, I was very angry and upset with her the other night and almost walked out on the job.
The 2 of us were working, she was in a bad mood when she came in, it got busy. She just started being really rude giving long sighs when I was with customers, implying I was taking to long In Honor Of. I may not do my job exactly the way she does hers but I’m good at what I do. She somewhat of a hyper personality she tends to rush around and in her mind being faster = better. We work in a fast paced and I realize that you can’t just take all the time in the world when were busy. My no means am I slow but I do believe taking an extra few minutes, if needed, to make sure I get it right. IMO fixing mistakes can end up costing you more time in the end anyway. My boss doesn’t have a problem with the way I do my job. In the past she’s told me I’m too slow when we’ve had a difference of opinion about things. She knows I’m a contentious worker that making comments like that would get under my skin. It’s happened a couple of times. I confronted her about it and told her I don’t appreciate being treated like that, she apologized. Last night was, for me, was the last straw. Again, she called me slow several times. Now, I know things can be said in the heat of the moment but she had a smirk on her face when she said it. I know that she said this intentionally to hurt me. More or less using me as her punching bag because she’s having a bad a day. I wasn’t hurt just angry. At that point I said “Well, if your so good at this then you can run this place by yourself”. I went to the back grabbed my purse and let the boss know I was leaving. She realized that she was screwed if I left. She came to talk to me, some harsh words were exchanged but I agreed to finish the shift. I wasn’t really going to leave, I was making a point. The rest of the night went on without event. At one point she thanked me for helping her out when she took on more work than she could handle (an example of her arrogance). I responded by saying “I hope it was fast enough for you”. Look, I was angry lol She said “It certainly was”. I heard her call me a b**** under her breath lol When I got home I sent her the following text:
I don’t appreciate you saying things to me because you’re having a bad day or because you’re feeling shitty about yourself. I guess you need to try and put me down to boost your non-existent self-esteem. It’s pathetic. I know your faster/better at the job than I am. You’ve been at it for 20+ yrs compared to my 12 months. Makes sense. I’m not hurt, just angry. I’d like to get along at work but other than that I’d rather not hear from you.
Her response was “sounds good”. I had work with her yesterday. At first she almost seemed afraid of me but I acted normally, things went fine. She didn’t apologize but was going out of her way to compliment me about my work lol Like I really care at this point what she thinks. At the end of the night she asked me if I could look walk her dog tomorrow. I was surprised but I guess she thinks things are back to normal. I said I wasn’t sure. I’m sorry at this point I don’t feel like doing her any favors, although I love spending time with her dog. As I was leaving she says “Dogs name loves you”. I felt like she was trying to manipulate me into doing what she wants. I’ve been a great friend to her. I’m not perfect but even when I’m angry I never treat people the way she treats me. I’m seriously considering telling her if she wants me to walk her dog she needs to pay me from now on. I know I’ve been rambling here.