Post # 1
My Fiance and I are really overwhelmed by the thought of a huge wedding, the family drama, the expectations and the money (we just bought a house). Here’s what I’m thinking for a more casual wedding weekend and I want to know if this is rude or inappropriate in any way.
We have a very intimate ceremony and dinner party. Immediate family and grandparents only + maybe two of our closest friends.
We rent out a brewery and hire a food truck for a more relaxed party celebrating our marriage. This wouldn’t technically be a ‘reception’ because it isn’t immediately after the wedding but something about this feels more relaxed to me and I don’t have to worry about the expectation of a formal wedding. Also, we would make sure word the invitations so people understand this isn’t the ‘wedding’
My dilemma: Is this insensitive to ask family/friends to come to the party but not attend the ceremony/dinner? I just want my wedding to be fun and enjoy my time with family and friends. We aren’t into the wedding traditions and don’t want that stuff to take away from the quality time at the event.
Post # 2
it’s really up to you, what works. but why couldn’t you just do a quick ceremony at the brewhouse and then party.
also, how many guests are you talking. because 1 food truck will have a crazy long line and wait.
Post # 3
I guess techinically it is fine. Just label the party a celebration of marriage.
However, what I don’t get is how this saves you money. The reception is the expensive part, not the ceremony. A ceremony will pretty much cost you the same no matter if 1 person witnesses it or 300 people. The only variable in that equation is the cost of renting chairs. If this is really to save money, I would skip the party the next day altogether and just have a small wedding with parents, siblings, and BFF’s and call it good or just have a casual ceremony with everyone right at the brewery. Otherwise you’re basically paying three times – once for a ceremony venue, then for a reception at a restaurant for the people attending the ceremony, then for a party for everyone else. The brewery party is a perfectly acceptable reception – all that is required of a reception is hosting people with food and drink. You don’t have to do any of the other stuff.
Post # 4
It depends on your friends and family, some might be offended to not receive a ceremony invite. I guess I don’t understand what stress you’re avoided by having a small ceremony one day and a large party the next or how it saves you money. I would think the large party would be the more stressful to organize and you’re still doing that so i’m not sure what you’re achieving by splitting them up. The ceremony is the least expensive bit so cutting guests to that seems strange.
Post # 5
So…for the party, we would probably have 100-120 people. I know it seems strange to seprate it, but something about having the wedding over with before the party makes it seem so much more low key to me. I’m really stressing out about the formalities of the ceremony and traditions of a wedding. We just want to celebrate wtih our guests. Also, my Fiance and I feel sort of selfish about this – but we really want to have a more classy dinner/evening on the day of our wedding so aren’t super excited about the casual event following the ceremony. All of this is making me feel like we should just do the small wedding and skip the party entirely.
Post # 6
Well, no one is owed a party or an invitation to your wedding. It sounds like you don’t even like the idea of the brewery party – why would you you spend time and money on a party you aren’t even enthusiastic about? A small ceremony and dinner after is a perfectly acceptable wedding and reception.
There is nothing stopping you from hosting all manners of parties to have a good time with friends later when you have time and money. Not all parties have to be connected to weddings- there are endless reasons to have them. Housewarming, memorial day or 4th of July or labor day bbq, Superbowl parties, Oscar watching parties, holiday open house, tailgating for whatever sport you do like, just for the hell of it parties, etc.
Post # 7
Just skip the party. It sounds like you really don’t want to do it and it’s not necessary at all.
Post # 8
we had an intimate ceremony with 15 people and twenty minutes later, our friends arrived for what they thought was our engagement party (surprise!). the night ended up being a fun dance party (we had an awesome DJ) with cocktail style food service and one bar. it was much more casual than the traditional wedding but we got what we wanted – small wedding, celebration with our friends, etc.
Post # 9
eliuuuu : That sounds like so much fun! How many people ended up coming to the party? I’m honestly really torn between having a super small thing and having a larger party. We have a lot of friends so cutting the guest list feels kinda sad. But we also want to really enjoy the evening and not get caught up in the stress of it all. It feels like a really tough decision.
Post # 10
I think that your original idea is totally fine!! And it would not bother me in the slightest as a guest, but I obviously can’t speak for everyone!