Need advice on a non-traditional ‘wedding'

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
9174 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

it’s really up to you, what works. but why couldn’t you just do a quick ceremony at the brewhouse and then party.

also, how many guests are you talking.  because 1 food truck will have a crazy long line and wait.

Post # 3
4495 posts
Honey bee

I guess techinically it is fine.  Just label the party a celebration of marriage.  

However, what I don’t get is how this saves you money.  The reception is the expensive part, not the ceremony.  A ceremony will pretty much cost you the same no matter if 1 person witnesses it or 300 people.  The only variable in that equation is the cost of renting chairs.  If this is really to save money, I would skip the party the next day altogether and just have a small wedding with parents, siblings, and BFF’s and call it good or just have a casual ceremony with everyone right at the brewery.  Otherwise you’re basically paying three times – once for a ceremony venue, then for a reception at a restaurant for the people attending the ceremony, then for a party for everyone else.  The brewery party is a perfectly acceptable reception – all that is required of a reception is hosting people with food and drink.  You don’t have to do any of the other stuff.  

Post # 4
5538 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

It depends on your friends and family, some might be offended to not receive a ceremony invite.  I guess I don’t understand what stress you’re avoided by having a small ceremony one day and a large party the next or how it saves you money.  I would think the large party would be the more stressful to organize and you’re still doing that so i’m not sure what you’re achieving by splitting them up. The ceremony is the least expensive bit so cutting guests to that seems strange. 

Post # 6
4495 posts
Honey bee

Well, no one is owed a party or an invitation to your wedding.  It sounds like you don’t even like the idea of the brewery party – why would you you spend time and money on a party you aren’t even enthusiastic about?  A small ceremony and dinner after is a perfectly acceptable wedding and reception.  

There is nothing stopping you from hosting all manners of parties to have a good time with friends later when you have time and money.  Not all parties have to be connected to weddings-  there are endless reasons to have them.  Housewarming, memorial day or 4th of July or labor day bbq, Superbowl parties, Oscar watching parties, holiday open house, tailgating for whatever sport you do like, just for the hell of it parties, etc.

Post # 7
9666 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Just skip the party. It sounds like you really don’t want to do it and it’s not necessary at all.

Post # 8
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

we had an intimate ceremony with 15 people and twenty minutes later, our friends arrived for what they thought was our engagement party (surprise!). the night ended up being a fun dance party (we had an awesome DJ) with cocktail style food service and one bar. it was much more casual than the traditional wedding but we got what we wanted – small wedding, celebration with our friends, etc.

Post # 10
614 posts
Busy bee

I think that your original idea is totally fine!! And it would not bother me in the slightest as a guest, but I obviously can’t speak for everyone!

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