- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Mr. LK made a big job change 4 months ago. It’s been really good for him. He went from a job he hated with a brutal commute to a job he likes with a shorter commute. I should be ecstatic. I am happy that he is happy. I am happy that he no longer dreads going to work. I am happy that he comes home and he’s not angry. I am happy that he feels challenged, in a good way, by his new position. I’m happy that he has re-discovered his ambition and self-confidence. I am happy that he has pride in his work.
But. There’s always a “but,” isn’t there? I’m not happy about the fact that he voluntarily puts in extra hours every day. I am not happy that he throws himself into work so much that he comes home and doesn’t have a lot of energy left for family time. We’ve talked about my concerns several times, and we are working on finding the right work-life balance. He should start working from home once a week in January. He’s also going to look into changing his workday schedule so that he can arrive early before most people get into the office and (hopefully) get more work done with less interruptions so that he can leave on time without falling behind on his workload.
In the mean time, I need to figure out how to control my own growing negative feelings. I need to figure out how to not take it personally when he’s staying late at work instead of coming home. I need to have a strategy for not feeling resentful when he’s crashed on the couch in the evening, totally exhausted, instead of actually interacting with me. I need to make my own peace with this situation for my own sanity and for the sake of our marriage (I have not been a pleasant wife lately).
Does anyone with a work-a-holic SO have any tips for me? How do you make peace with the situation? How do you cope? How do you not take it personally?