(Closed) Need Advice on Family Drama — Please, I’m desperate!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2012

If you are asking about seating and what to do to keep the craziness level to a minimum, why does it have to be traditional seating? Why can’t there be reserved seats and people can sit where they want?

Post # 4
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If you feel as though you must usher stepmom down the asile, then you can. HAve FI’s dad usher her down the asile, then biological mom with an usher, and then your mom last, before your wedding party walks down the asile. If she goes first, she’ll still be part, but she’ll  be seated, and dealt with.

Could you have stepmom and Fi’s dad sit out on the end of the front asile, and then have a few people in between (siblings?)and then his bio mom on the outside?

Also – is it possible to approach stepmom like the adult that she (should) be and let her know that becuase it’s your wedding that it means so much to you that ALL family be included. Let her know that bio mom will be there and it would mean SO much if for that one day, they could get along for your sake.

I read through your post, and she doesn’t sound like a nice woman, but it doesn’t state whether anyone has actually tried reasoning with her? Seems like everyone just kind of lets her rant and rave?

Post # 6
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Holy crap that is ridiculous.

Stepmom needs to be an adult and plaster a fake smile on her face for 1 day. Bio-mom will always be your FI’s mom, it’s a fact of life (literally).

I wouldn’t have a discussion with step-mom, I would just lay it out like it is. “This is our plan for the day, we would welcome your participation.” It’s not up for debate with her.

Are there any aunts/uncles/godparents/grandparents that you could put in between the two sides?

Don’t let the stepmom beat up your Fiance about this. Unfortunately, I think you might be the one caught in a fight with her but she’s clearly nuts.

Post # 9
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I would seat your FI’s mom on the same side as your mom.  So one side would be FSMIL & Future Father-In-Law on the very outside of the pew, and the other side would be Future Mother-In-Law on the outside of pew with your mom and dad seated on the inside of the pew.  Also, reserved seating with their names on nametags may help.  I also think your FSMIL should be ushered in first with your Future Father-In-Law.  Then your Future Mother-In-Law, then your mom.  I personally think that the person ushered in closest to when the bridal party comes in is the most important.  You can spin it however you want to make everyone happy.

The only thing you should avoid is seating them on the same side within earshot of one another, or at the same side of the reception hall.  (DEFINITELY not at the same table!)  Also like PP said, you need to tell your FSMIL this is how it will be, not “what do you think if…”

Post # 11
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Why not adopt a leaf out of Jewish ceremonies and have both your parents escort you down, together?  Skip having FI’s moms involved that way, and opening up a nasty can of worms that may not be easily corked at the reception.

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