Post # 1
My Fiance and I are getting married at my FMIL’s home which is 4 hours from where we live. She is awesome and is helping financially and with planning. She originally set up for her pastor to perform the ceremony. Fiance and I are not religious people and have decided for a dear friend to marry us. Our friend got ordained online solely for the purpose to marry us. Now my Future Mother-In-Law told me she has invited her pastor to “bless” the wedding and to say something at some point during wedding. She said she would feel much better to have her pastor there to bless the wedding. I was shocked she invited him anyway but since I want to please her I of course said sure we can fit him in somewhere.
My question is 1) where do I fit him in? At the reception? 2) Should I be offended that she invited him without asking me and that this is about her and what her comfort zone is? Since we are not religious, fiance and I don’t feel we need a pastor to bless us.
Post # 3
There is probably going to be far better advice but your Mother-In-Law is helping out by paying so she does get some say. However, having a different religious view is a toughy. I would maybe have the Pastor do a blessing at the end or maybe during the reception, say, before the meal?
I would be offended if it were my Mother-In-Law, but I wouldn’t say anything either because it is a battle I would chose to stay away from.
Post # 4
I have been to many Christian weddings in which a pastor “blesses” the couple before the ceremony ends. It is very close to the end of the ceremony. They just come up and say a prayer. Plain and simple. It wouldn’t hurt, to honor him and your Future Mother-In-Law by respecting her wish (very simple wish!)
Post # 5
I wouldn’t be offended – you could ask him to say a blessing before the meal at the reception if he’s okay with that or a short prayer right after your vows or ring exchange.
Just discuss with him what will be said ahead of time – we had a secular ceremony and invited a family friend to say the blessing before the meal… he mentioned something about the holiness of marriage between a man and a woman, etc., etc. and I cringed – Darling Husband and I are both supporters of marriage equality.
Post # 6
Thanks for all of the advice ladies! I think I might will have him say a blessing before the meal.