(Closed) Need advice on handling anxiety

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

First, I would suggest you get in touch with someone, like a counsellor or therapist, immediately, so that you can glean some methods of coping for this coming long weekend. 

It sounds like you’ve got an incredibly supportive DH, which is amazing. But I think you need to set some boundaries off the bat and stick to them. Are the festivities happening at his house? I think you should do whatever’s necesary to stay as far away from the home as possible. I also think you should make sure your DH doesn’t leave you alone the entire time; you’ll need his support and you dont want to be backed into a corner to deal with stuff when he’s not around or you’re not prepared.

Be mentally prepared to step away from the whole thing if it becomes too much for you. Have some prepared excuses, headache, migrane, cramps, emergency call from work, whatever, so that you can make a fast exit should you need to. Make sure DH always has his phone on him and that if you get separated, he checks it frequently so you can text him if you need to leave.

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t go. I think you’re putting yourself in a position that you’re perhps not mentally ready to deal with and that may cause some unexpected feelings to surface that you’re going to have to deal with all while this party/festivities are going on.

Post # 4
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
babygrandmabee :  Take care of yourself and remember to put YOUR feelings first. You’ve gotta do what you gotta do to protect yourself. 

I understand not feeling like you can back out, its a tough situation to navigate. The other idea may be to make some alternative plans during the weekend so you’re not with the whole family ALL the time. Maybe find a trip you and DH can do, maybe into a major city to see a show or a museum or something like that, so that you have a bit of a break to look forward to that will keep your mind off the anxiety as well. See if you can make breakfast plans with an old friend or maybe at a great restaurant that you and DH can enjoy together. 

Best of luck OP!

Post # 6
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee

I’m so sorry. I have anxety as well, and one thing that helps me so much is what my counselor calls 4-7-8 breathing. It’s so useful when you’re in the throes of panic. Deeply inhale for 4 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds and then exhale for 8 seconds. It won’t be much use if you’re in a full-blown anxiety attack, but when I notice my anxiety starting to flare up, I find it very helpful. 

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