(Closed) need advice on letter to my parents …. FIRST TIME POST…. (kinda long)

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 47
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Bee Bee: I agree with you on the she isn’t ready to be married.  I missed that paragraph about the past abuse. Really, that stuff needs to be dealt with by a counselor BEFORE getting married or she might turn that hurt onto her new husband.

Also I thought it was interesting she says she is so financially well off and has $8500 is savings, but yet repeatedly says she can’t pay more than $300 in rent. That doesn’t sound financially well off to me.

Post # 48
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I didn’t read the letter, because I don’t think you should send it.  You live in your parents’ house, whether you pay rent or not.  If they don’t agree with your lifestyle, then they have every right to ask you to move out.  It’s time to grow up and accept responsibility for your actions.  If you don’t want to live with your partner, then rent an apartment somewhere on your own.

Post # 50
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@crazybabyinlove: That is great! Really I think you saved yourself a lot of heartache and drama when it come to your relationship with your family. Good luck!

Post # 51
Member
1479 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m glad you’re not sending that letter. 

I just wanted to tell you that I don’t think it’s stupid to have a courthouse wedding and then have your princess dream wedding at a later date.  Especially since your and FI’s value dictate that you want to be married before you live together, it might be the healthiest thing for both yourself and your relationship with your parents.  Sometimes, living with the people who we have issues with is not the best idea, and it can help to get some space and perspective.  That way, they can’t dictate your decisions, and you won’t feel resentful towards them for trying.

I hope it all works out for you!

Post # 53
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

THat’s a great solution ! I just moved MY date up to September 11 of this year, YESTERDAY ! Good luck (to us both, lol) Best Wishes !

Post # 55
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You can do it! my SIL got engaged and married within 3 months so DH didn’t get deployed before the wedding.

Post # 56
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

October 30th ! I have another post on here explaining what happend. Go to my profile if you’re curious and seriously, this seems like the best choice for you !

Post # 59
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I just logged in again to see if you told your parents about moving the date yet and I saw your update 🙁

But the wonderful bees on here gave me some really sage advice which was: This is about YOU and Fiance. If his family can’t make it, get married anyway and then throw another party later in the year. Can you do that???

Post # 60
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

 

I ALMOST didnt post this but Im not one for not speaking my mind. I guess Im in the minority here but this young girl is in alot of pain and it appears to have been ongoing. Maybe she felt she couldnt talk to her parents, maybe she has tried to no avail. I especially dont like the part where her sister  doesnt seem to have to follow the same rules. I know because my ex husband does not treat our children equally.. .All I know is my heart goes out to her. I know what its like having been thru similar issues. Clearly she loves her parents and from her letter she wants to please them. I personally feel sad for her, this is HER DAY!

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