(Closed) Need advice on threesomes!

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think the best thing for you to do is ask them both what their intentions are, considering they are already in a relationship, then see if that lines up to what you want. If they have an open relationship and are looking for a friendly playmate, do you see yourself being able to fill that role without falling in love wiht the guy (sounds from your post like maybe that answer is No).

I do think it’s really unfair of the guy to lead you on with lines like “if I didn’t already ahve this girlfriend, I could see you being my girlfriend.”  But then again, perhaps whatever conversation you three had whilst drunk would put that in a less unfair context.

Post # 4
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I really have no clue what they are thinking, because the whole things seems really messed up to me (my opinion completely!).  For you, my best advice would be to run like hell away from the situation.  Cut all ties, etc.  Bc really, at the end of the day, the facts remain the same:  he has a girlfriend, and still deems it appropriate to pursue you in some form or fashion – sexually and emotionally. 

Let’s say he DOES have an open relationship, and they have chosen you as his/their partner for right now.  However, you have an emotional attachment to him, thus confusing the concept of them using people for sexual gratification.  Let’s say he does not have an open relationship, and the gf is under the assumption that you guys had a 3some and that was that.  She is now being deceived, a position I would not want to put myself in: ie. ‘the other woman’.  And finally, let’s say he dumps her, and pursues you.  Could you ever really be OK with a) trusting him?  or b) partaking in the type of relationship he may want (open/3 somes/what have you?!)

Based upon the nature of your post, I am guessing you would not be – only because it took you a month to see him after that night!  I say there are ‘other fish in the sea’ for ya!  good luck!

Post # 5
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Vdubb89:  I wouldn’t jump to the open relationship idea. Too me it sounds like this couple enjoys spicing things up with threesomes every now and then, and he may be trying to start something on the side behind her back. 

They very well could be in an open relationship, but if they are do you eally want to be in that situation? Starting to see this man only to end up hurt because he is still in a relationship with his gf?

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