Post # 1
We are having trouble picking godparents for our first born baby, he is due in 8 weeks. My husband and I argue about this every time we try to talk about it so we haven’t talked about it much. Here is the dilemma: He has one sibling, his sister. I have 4 but have only 1 sister and out of my 3 brothers, one is too young, one isn’t even in the picture and I am really close to the other. Now, my brother that I am close to has a girlfriend that he has been with for the last 9 years now and they recently found out they cannot have children because of something that she has which is very hard for them. I would love to have them be the godparents but then how do I pick my brothers girlfriend over my own sister that I am close to and my husband’s only sister? Both our sisters keep asking who we picked and they both want to be godmother. Also, I am the first in my family to have a baby so there seems to be a lot of pressure on me from that part and of course since my husband only has one sibling, that side of the family thinks it should be her which by the way is married, I am not sure if that makes a difference. My husband also said he wants to pick a friend of his to be the godfather because he doesn’t have any brothers but I can’t see having a friend over my brother for that role which I guess would be the same way of looking at making my brother’s girlfriend the godmother over one of our sisters. This is all so confusing and causing a lot of problems and is very stressful because I know whichever of the 2 sisters we don’t pick will be devastated. Any advice please?
Post # 3
If I were you, I would let your husbands sister be the godmother, and your brother that you are close to be the godfather. This way, you each got to choose someone. If you soley get to choose the 2 people you want, he will be hurt. If he solely gets to choose the 2 people he wants, you will be hurt. But this way, even though it may not be eachother’s exact choice, you still each got to choose one of your choices. It sound like some people might still have hurt feelings, but not EVERYONE can be the godparent. They still get to be aunts and uncles, and they should love the child (and the child will love them) just the same with or without the title of godparent. Hope it all works out!
Post # 4
What religion are you? Are there any requirements for god parents? Maybe that would help you narrow it down.
I personally would never pick a brother and his girlfriend. What if they break up? Then the baby wont have a god mother.
If I were you I’d pick the people who you would want to take care of your child if anything happens to you. Also, who do you think is a good role model to help bring up the child in your religion?
You don’t have to pick a “couple”. You could pick his sister and one of your brothers.
Post # 5
I am Catholic and he is not religious but we got married in a Catholic church and decided to raise our kids that way too. At least one godparent has to be baptized and confirmed in the Catholic church. All of my siblings are but not his sister. He said he wasn’t even sure if he wanted his sister anyway which is also why it’s so hard. Thank you both for your advice. The more I think about it, it would probably be best to pick his sister and my brother to make things fair. I guess I just get too caught up in how everyone will feel and let is stress me out because I just want everyone to be happy.
Post # 6
I have 2 godmothers (baptized Catholic). I’m not sure if that info helps or hurts your decision.
Post # 7
I agree with PP that your brother and his sister would be a good compromise.
If it helps any, we were also told that any married godparent must be in a valid (according to the Church) marriage. So if there is one person you don’t want to include and he or she is Catholic and married outside the Church, that might be an “out” for you.
Post # 8
I agree on your brother and his sister. Speaking from experience as the first child I have my mother’s sister and my dad’s best friend as god parents. My brother has my mom’s other sister and my dad’s younger brother. I think my parents got lazy on my second brother and his are my mom’s sister (same as bro 1) and her now ex-husband which essentially means he does not have a godfather and it really upset my mom’s brother that she didn’t ask him. So, I would have to say don’t pick the girlfriend over family, you never know where they will be when your child is growing up.
Also, if you really can’t decide there is maybe a possibility to have 4 as my Darling Husband is one of 4 godparents on a good friend’s child so I guess it depends on the priest on that one.
Post # 9
@New Momma2B: I think you should ask your priest what the exact rules are for godparents, because some churches handle it differently. My priest told me that one godparent has to be practicing Catholic (in good standing with the church, i.e. is currently an active parishoner). The other godparent has to be baptised Christian. I know some churches are more lenient on the practicing Catholic rule than others, so maybe it’s not an issue for you, but it would be for us. Then you could use the church’s rules as a reason for not being able to pick certain people, so they wont just blame you if they get mad about not being a godparent.
Post # 10
I agree with the others, your brother and his sister would probably be the easiest way to go. That way there’s one person from each family.
We kind of have the same issue, I’m close to all my siblings (brother and his wife and my sister) and my husband has one brother. So to be fair, it will be his brother and my sister.
Post # 11
Thank you for all the advice. I have been dreading talking about this to my husband again since it always ends with us saying “forget it we will just talk about it later” and not being able to really agree on anything. Now I will bring all this advice with me and we will hopefully come to an agreement. Thanks again!