Post # 1
Ok so this might be long sorry before hand.My fiance and I have been together for 8 months or so. we got engaged 2 months after being together.i know thats fast but not as fast as some ppl i know.shes 27 now and im 19 now.he lives with his parents and i live with mine. i finally got another job and i start soon.i keep talking about i want us to get a place together.he keeps pushing it off. also is pushing it off when i try to talk about wedding stuff.i ask if he wants to get married even and he says no not right now.i tell him our weddings in 2015 so i hope he is by then i mean we arent getting married this year. and then he tells me i dont know. we had to return my rings to kay because he couldnt afford the payments.he lives with his parents due to his rusn the family business with his father and brothers who live there too.i have a son so i dont want us to move in there and be to much.which i want my own place again.he wants to move by his family but i wantto move close to my work. if i move where he wants i have to drive an hr to work or him the other way around.which would be worse for him due to he has a truck v8 but i have a v6 car.anyway when i try to talk about these things he pushes them off and says his anxiety is getting to him so he doesnt want to talk about it.i have layed off a few weeks hwere and there and still same thing every time. i even ask why we are engaged and he said i dont why we are.it hurt so much. he says he loves me very much though. and sometimes he tells me he doesnt like my child because he gets on his nerves and makes his anixety worse.i lvoe him very much and sometimes i feel like i dont know why im with him but at the same time i want to make us work.
Post # 2
You’re 19 and got engaged after a two months and have a kid……..slow down. He said he doesn’t even want to get married now so you should not be engaged or planning a wedding at all. He says he doesn’t want to be engaged, so you’re not engaged. Overall it doesn’t seem like he’s interested in this relationship sorry
Post # 3
sometimes he tells me he doesnt like my child because he gets on his nerves
This is all the information you need. Do NOT subject you child to someone who doesn’t like them. Dump this guy. He is 27, that’s almost 30(!) and he proposed after 2 months when 1) he doesn’t even want to get married any time soon 2) he couldn’t afford the ring he bought. He is immature and not worth your time or effort.
You are 19, take your time with dating and find someone who loves you and your son. Find someone who will mean it when they ask you to marry them, not do it “just ‘cus”.
Post # 4
he tells me he likes him.he helps with him.but is my son wants to talk to him on the phone ?(which my son is almost 3 and says words really good) he doesnt talk back and he doesnt really play with him unless i ask him too play with us or something like that or to play with him while im cooking or something .but sometimes i hear i dont like him or hes a mean child.which my child is a handful but still it hurts to hear him say he doesnt want him.
Post # 5
cdpslh913059487: honestly, by the sounds of it, he is not into this relationship. he doesn’t want to get married. sorry.
i was a young single mother and if anyone ever said that they didn’t like my son and he got on their nerves, they would be out of my life so damn fast. your son is your priority right now, not finding a husband. i have a feeling you are pushing this relationship into marriage. please don’t. you deserve better than this guy. he sounds way to immature and irresponsible to be a step-parent; let alone a good husband and provider. you already have a son, you don’t need another one.
Post # 6
I’m willing to look past you guys getting engaged after two months.<br />However, I would not want to waste my time with a person who says they couldn’t stand my child.<br />A person who can’t handle my child now won’t want to handle them for the rest of their lives. This isn’t a person you want to be with, and if you value the health of your child, you’d reconsider the relationship. Imagine, would you want to grow up around a person you knew hated you?
Post # 7
I’m gonna be very blunt here, you need to break up with this person. This guy you’re “engaged” to, sorta, can’t answer any serious questions you give him with anything other than “I don’t know”. Really? And he’s 27? You’d think by that age maturity would’ve kicked in for him. What does he mean he doesn’t know if he wants to marry you in 2015. He needs to give you a yes or a no. How the heck are you supposed to plan or book anything without him 100% in.
Honestly, you’re young. Really young. You need to focus on yourself. And you need focus on your child and providing him an environment that is safe and happy for him. Not someone who tells you he finds your child anoying at times. Uh. BIG RED FLAG. Don’t settle because you’re maybe too afraid of being a single mom. You deserve someone better. Leave this tool.
Post # 8
and if he asks me to do something for him i will i make his food.even if he asks me to run him a bath i will.he doesnt know how to cook or clean or anything.hes a child in a lot of ways.i mean he does buy us stuff and thinks its a hassle to take my son out with us because it is hard to be with him out .but hesa toddler so he will scream and try to run away and all of that.
Post # 9
yes all he know what he wants to far is to take over the family business and to make it better and to buya house in thr future.but he doesnt have it planned out when or isnt save up money i know his business is slow in winter months and fall due to it being a tree service company but idk how you blow around 500 dollars or so in fast food and gas.because that what he does every week to two weeks. blows a lot of money all he does is eat out.
Post # 10
I’m not really sure why you’re not leaving him. So far you’ve only listed huge negative things.
Post # 11
This might be the most immature post I have read on the bee. That is saying a lot. OP, grow up. Fast. Leave this tool and work on yourself and your relationship with your son. Your son deserves you to better yourself, not to sit around and worry why some low life isn’t committing to you. Really. Gather up some perspective and be a mom.
Post # 12
If a friend came to you and said these things, what would you say?
- My boyfriend/fiance/significant other tells me he doesn’t like my kid. He acts like my toddler is an annoyance and doesn’t like to be out in public with the baby.
- He is irresponsible with money (spending $1,000 a month on gas and fast food)
- He told me he doesn’t know why we’re even engaged
- He can’t afford his own place or the payments on my engagement ring, which has now been returned
- He’s 27 and still lives with his parents, because he presumably can’t support himself.
If any of my friends every had this list of complaints, my only response would be, “Run. Run far, and run fast.”
Post # 13
cdpslh913059487: OMG. I think you need to RUN, not walk, away from this. Stop chasing him and start enjoying your life. It sounds like things have fallen apart in short order. I am sorry to hear that. However, it seems like he’s ok with how things are.
Post # 14
cdpslh913059487: Why are you with this guy??? You need to dump this guy. He sounds extremely financially irresponsible, with no drive in life, wants to be catered to (you cook and clean, he does…nothing), doesn’t like kids, and is flat out wishy-washy about big life decisions. Is this someone you really want to marry??? You and your child deserve better. Don’t make this loser part of your son’s life forever.
Post # 15
There is no engagement, no marriage being planned. I’m not even sure there’s much of a relationship here. OP, you need a bit of a reality check.
You’re 19. You have a child already. Why do you want to rush into a marriage with a guy who sounds like a complete and utter train wreck? You shouldn’t be rushing into marriage with anyone right now, let alone this guy. Spend time with your child, go to school, just…focus on yourself and your kid. You have plenty of time for relationships down the road. And maybe working on yourself a bit will help to give you the strength and perspective to see that there is absolutely nothing desirable about this guy.