(Closed) Need advice please…

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Have you ever orgasmed by yourself?  Maybe if you get used to feeling those things on your own, it will be easier to show them to your FH.  If you become more comfortable with yourself, you will realize that it is completely normal and healthy to show him when you are feeling pleasure.  I’m sure that he wants to please you too!

Post # 5
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@embarassedOne: My concern here is that there is a deeper issue at hand. You said that you are embarassed how you look/act when orgasming? Are you able to enjoy sex without being preoccupied with these worries? I’d bet that the times you have orgasmed with your Fiance you weren’t thinking about these things and were truly engulfed in the moment.

I would have an honest conversation with your Fiance about how you are feeling. Perhaps speaking with him about it will lighten some of the worry you have. If this doesn’t help, maybe you should seek out some professional help to deal with the issues you are having.

You’re Fiance obviously loves you deeply. I’m sure talking to him about this and getting it off your chest will help you a lot. Next time you are intimate try limiting some of the visual senses by turning the lights off, blindfolding your partner, etc, sometimes the removal of certain senses will make the others hyper sensative. Try to concentrate on how things feel instead of what you look like. And remember that your Fiance loves you and just wants you to feel as comfortable as possible. Nothing would please him more than to see you in ectasy. 

I hope this helps

 

Post # 6
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

Why wouldn’t you want to show him how happy he makes you? Is it so he won’t notice when it doesn’t happen?

Post # 7
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@embarassedOne:I wouldn’t feel comfortable telling him what to do either, firstly I’d suggest a little bit of alcohol secondly, maybe instead of having to ‘tell’ him if you make maybe a slight noise or dig your fingers in his shoulders maybe he’ll get the message of what feels good and what doesn’t…? 

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