- 8 years ago
Seem background on me, I’m widowed as of 4 years now. I’ve finally healed and met someone who I feel strongly for. I’ve dated a few here and there but just didn’t feel a connection, mostly because I wasn’t fully healed. Been dating this guy for 4 months nowsurest sure which direction to go. here are some things I can’t decide if its worth keeping him around or not:
likes to cook with me or for me and kids, dancing, best sex ever, music, faith, doesn’t act old, somewhat sspontaneous, can fix things (car and house), excellent with kids, fun. Willing to let me plan things and he just goes with the flow.
doesnt know when to act like adult (passing gas LOUDLY while camping with cub scouts…people we do not know well) other stuff too just wish he had a switch to turn off the child and flip on the adult, not really good sense of style but can deal with that, HORRIBLE communicator (hates confrontation, don’t we all, but thinks discussion as confrontation), his son treats me terrible and I have to get onto him to disciplne him, kinda messy (leaves dirty clothes all over my floor, even NEXT to laundry basket but never in it), not the best hygiene(had to have discussion with him a while back that he needs to brush his teeth before kissing all over me with morning breath), he also flossed his teeth at table in restaurant the other night, everything that’s ever gone wrong in his life has been to the fault of someone else..hmm, he has some major financial issues right now (foreclosure, owes money to family, etc) people go through hard times but he spends money like crazy still and I’m very financially stable right now .
his timelines of previous relationships have been off, he even lied about one of them and said it was just sex, but I found out she was calling him her bf on Facebook where he has mutual friends that would see her call him that. It was more than sex and he lied about it. there are other questionable friends in his past that I feel I have to be a PI to figure out. I know it’s his past but why be dishonest about it? Especially when I’ve been so open with him about my stuff.
so I’m not sure if the cons can be fixed if he won’t communicate, I really do not care for the poor hygiene, and financial problems can be fixed if responsible action is taken. He says he is paying off things but I see a lot of needless spending although I do not know his intake/outtake of money. We do have a great physical connection, I’ve never been so comfortable with someone, even my ex, but not sure if I’m over-reacting about his past or if I should take it seriously. To me it’s better to be honest even on the little things so that trust is there on the big things.
i think I know the answethese what I need to do, just don’t want to throw away something that might be worked out, or if I’m being petty.