Need advice – should I leave or stay?

posted 9 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
4844 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Yes, CUT YOUR LOSSES AND RUN. Wow you kept the worst part– the crazy debt– for the end of your post! Run run run as fast as you can. 

Post # 3
Member
4058 posts
Honey bee

If you have to ask this question you already know the answer. You’ve already wasted too much time and money on this guy. Throw this fish back in the sea and don’t be so amenable in your next relationship. 

Post # 4
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

Run, yesterday. This person is incredibly irresponsible, incompatible with you based on your views and I guarantee will be an even worse husband than boyfriend. There is nothing about this man worth sticking it out and no way in hell I would knowingly marry into the kind of credit problems he has no intention of fixing. Nope!

Post # 5
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would have said cut your losses before, but he lost $130,000? He’s a man-baby that you’ve been enabling for years, stop it.

Post # 6
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2007 - City, State

luckycat :  Plot twist. Jesus christ. The gambling and dishonesty and tens of thousands of debt in the nail in the coffin….WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM HOLY SHIT

Post # 7
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

RUN!!!  Don’t waste another second on this loser.  There are so many issues here, I don’t even know where to start.

Post # 8
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - Kelowna, BC, Canada

RUN! Huge red flags everywhere. Also: YOU ARE NOT OLD. You still have time to get married and have babies! 

Post # 9
Member
392 posts
Helper bee

I typically don’t like to get on the “RUN AND LEAVE HIM” train but in this case, I say 

All aboard

Post # 10
Member
791 posts
Busy bee

You’re missing the forrest for the trees. It seems like you’ve become so fixated on this proposal, wedding, buying a housing, having kids that you’re not even looking at the person you’re trying to do this all with. I don’t think you need other peoples advice you just need to read your own post.

Post # 11
Member
4497 posts
Honey bee

I for the life of me can’t figure out how someone could type that all out and by the end of it go “So, I’m kinda torn on the lying financially irresponsible guy who clearly doesn’t want the same things I want and was willing to jerk me around for two years.  I should maybe stay, right?”

Did you not actually read the words you were typing as you were typing them?

Post # 12
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry. It isn’t easy to leave- especially after investing 7 years of your life and heart into putting down roots with someone. 

But the hugest red flag to me is his inability to take responsibility for his actions (or lack thereof.) that is something that will only get worse. 

I rarely advise people to leave – but this is clear- 

Yes – leave. Leave and trust that you’ll find someone who is committed to owning his sh*t and growing as a person, you’ll find an honorable man. 

 

Wishing you luck – my heart is hurting for you. Please update us 

Post # 13
Member
3446 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

You cannot get out of this relationship fast enough for your own good. He will bleed you dry and drag you down into debt hell, and won’t take any responsibility for it. Anything you think you’d save for a wedding? Gone. Anything you’d think you’d save for your children? Gone. 

Even 1 maxed out credit card is too many, and I’ve been in that position in the past. He has, and will continue, to put you guys in a financial hole. That’s not even addressing the fact that you had to drag him kicking and screaming into being engaged and that is not his you’re supposed to start your married life with someone. People who genuinely want to get married will willingly take the steps to do so. 

I don’t mean to be harsh, but you are the boring admin job. He’s not actually excited to be with you, but being with you is less work than having to start over with someone new. That’s why he gave you the ring when you were on the brink of ending things. You deserve WAY better than that. You have plenty of time to find someone who respects you and shares your sense of responsibility, stability, and future goals. 

Post # 14
Member
768 posts
Busy bee

 Bee, this guy is a car crash. Would you REALLY want to raise a kid with him – because you would be doing it on your own and pretty sure all he’d do it make it difficult for you.. 

Also, your engagement story kills me. That was not a proposal. He basically called in sick on your relationship. 

Enough of his bullshit. There are much better fish in the sea that won’t kEep CONSTANTLY letting down.

Leave.

Post # 15
Member
530 posts
Busy bee

Cut your losses from this loser & RUN while you still can. 

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