Post # 1
long story short my mom was abused when she was a little girl, she left her hometown and were in another country now. Recently she recconnected with her brother on FB and he doesnt know about what happened, he keeps telling her to talk to his mom and dad but she doesnt want to, which leads to them arguing, to the point where shes stopped having contact with him. i see her more distant and very emotional. She tells me she wasnt ready for the contact even though its been years.
i dont understand what she went through.. and i want to help her. i dont know where i can look for help for her, she needs someone to talk to.
Shes a very strong woman but when she gets down its rockbottom, and i hate seeing her like this
Post # 3
Would she be willing to talk to a therapist? She needs a professional who can help her deal with everything that happened.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
She needs to contact an abuse recovery support group. There she can find counselors and other survivors of abuse that she can talk to.
Post # 5
If she wants to maintain a relationship with her brother she has to tell him the truth. It would probably be easier to just walk away from the whole situation, but it can be nice to have a link to your past and I bet your mother would want that. And it will be incredibly scary to tell her brother, but it’s the only way they can have a good relationship.
As for what you can do, there’s not a whole lot. Be supportive. As how she’s doing but don’t push her. Tell her you’re thinking of her and want her to be at peace. And tell her you love her. Every day.
Post # 6
Birdee106 im not sure we could afford a therapist?
beachbride1216 how can i look for one?
JenGirl this is what ive been telling her, that he needs to know, i know she loves him, hes her younger brother, she says she doesnt want to tell him because its his dad (her stepdad).
im contemplating telling him, ive talked to him before and he asked me what was wrong with my mom, i hinted what happened but apparently he never caught my drift. Hes also very very religious and believes everyone should be forgiven.
i live with her and i try to make things as easy as i can but, her personality is very hard to deal with also.
Post # 7
@diamondsashadiamonds: Please don’t tell him. It’s not your place. There are a lot of therapits who work on sliding scales which means they will work with what you can afford. I’ve seen therapists for $10 before.
Post # 8
Birdee106 i KNOW its not my place to tell him, but he hurts her every time he pressures her into trying to talk to his parents.
if i could find a therapist to work with me id be happy, im just not sure how to look for one
Post # 9
try looking at your local community centre – they often provide space for support groups. google ‘your area low income therapist / counseling’ etc and see what you come up with – i know that in my area there is one that charges 15$ an hour. does your mother have benefits, belong to a union etc? they may be able to offer her support or pay for counseling.
look in your phone book (haha i know, so old school) in the municipal pages – there should be a list of health care related numbers, one should be for mental health – call and ask about services in your area.
Post # 10
peonyinlove She doesn’t work and doesnt have any kind of insurance. only for BC i think.
but thank you for the suggestions i will start looking!
Post # 11
@diamondsashadiamonds: if you do a google search for low cost therapy in your area, you should come up with lots of results. i’m in the SF bay area and just doing a quick search came up with tons of places. good luck!
Post # 12
Who was the abuser? One of the parents?
Where in California do you live? There are definitely resources for low-income people to afford counseling.
Post # 13
you should be able to find a free support group at the very least.
I think counseling would be helpful and even if you had to cut down in some area to afford it well worth it. may therapists do sliding scale so that is something to look into
Post # 14
@diamondsashadiamonds: If you need a low-cost or no fee therapist, you can call the ACCESS line in your county. Every county has an ACCESS line, just google it for your area. You will get someone on the line and you can give her all your requirements (language, no insurance, location, even orientation, models or specialties). They will give you the contact info there. I would seek for someone who is trauma-focused if the abuse was traumatic. Feel free to DM me if you want further help or have questions! If you give me a specific location I might be able to give you a few referrals.
Post # 15
loving_life her step dad, and her “mom” knew
Moonbear17 i did actually get a couple of good places off of google. and it is an expense that is worth it
Now all i have to do is tell her ive made her an appt , i dont think she’ll refuse it but im not sure how she’ll react when i mention it.
and i do want to thank all of you that replied and gave suggestions
Post # 16
You’re doing the right thing! Just remember that for the older generation and also a lot of countries, this subject is beyond shameful, and she may be offended that you’re involved. Talking to a professional is “airing dirty laundry” and may be very difficult for her. Keep being supportive and a great daughter!