- 7 years ago
Maybe some of you can relate. I have a friend (a term which I would put into quotes, but ever since I spilled wine on my keyboard, so many of my punctuation marks dont work!} So this friend and I have known each other since 9th grade. We shared a very close group of GFs throughout HS, college, and now the beyond years. This group includes her twin sister. This particular friend has a history of lying, talking crap behind peoples backs, and generally lacking any sense of propriety (ie she uses fowl language, shell talk extremely loudly about sex in public, some days shes a lesbian, some days shes needs a man, etc}. Shes offended multiple family members of mine at family functions, and my fiance really dislikes her.
At the same time, I understand that her behavior is rooted in attention seeking because of her childhood, and not a bad heart. She has many good qualities like her intelligence, her ability to be very understanding, and without a doubt shed be there for me if I needed her. These qualities, and my history with her are the reasons Im still friends with her even though Im often embarassed by her behavior in public and private. Weve had many, many discussions and fights over the years about my issues with her, but about 2 years ago I realized that I had to accept her as she is, or end the friendship. I decided to keep our friendship but to see her only a few times a year.
The conundrum is this. Shes absolutely STUNNED and heartbroken that shes not a part of my wedding other than being a guest. I havent directly spoken to her about it, but shes been hearing through the grape vine that Ive asked one friend to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and another to play music during the ceremony. She called Bridesmaid or Best Man, crying and extremely hurt, that she hasnt been asked to participate in any meaningful way.
Heres where you come in!! Do I think of a way to involve her in the wedding to spare her feelings, or should I be honest that I cant trust her to be appropriate on our wedding day, and that I dont feel close to her(question mark}
Okay bees. Tell me what YOU would do!!