- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
Sorry for the long story, I need to explain the history of it all first…
So I am getting married May 16, 2015. I have two amazing best friends, one who I have grown up with and has been my best friend for as long as I can remeber (Becca), but as we went to separate colleges I came to have another amazing best friend who shares a lot of the same interests as me and we do a lot more things together (Erin). Becca, will be the head Maid/Matron of Honor, I already made that clear to them, but with her getting her masters and having to be her sisters Maid/Matron of Honor next year it only made my decision of having two MOHs that much easier. Especially because I felt Erin deserved the title just as much. I didn’t just choose her because I thought it would help Becca out. I chose her because the past few years we have had some tough times and have really supported one another through it all. My brother has been in and out of the hospital for multiple health reasons and at the same time her father was batteling cancer, and last year passed away. We both were there for each other the whole time and it really made our friendship that much stronger. So to me, it really was a no brainer to have them both as my MOHs.
Okay so now to the issue…Erin has always been really laid back, a little too laid back at times. She is a free spirit and I have learned to love it and hate it all at the same time. She has skipped plans throughout our friendship, none of which were too important for me to care, but this made me hesitant to have her as a Maid/Matron of Honor, but like I explained, with everything our friendship has been through and with Becca being so busy I thought it would be perfect for her, not too much responsibility but not too litte. So the other week I had to take my other BMs to try on their dresses and asked my two MOHs to go. Becca said she couldn’t because she had to work which was totally fine and Erin said she would love to. The evening before, I text Erin just to make sure she was still planning on going and she said yes. That morning of it was almost time to go and still no Erin so I text her to let her know we had to leave by 9am to which her reply was “I’m gonna skip it, I don’t feel very good and I have a wedding to go to later.” So I just replied back “k”. I was irritated becasue I knew why she didn’t feel good, she went out the night before to a halloween party our friends were having. My Fiance and I didn’t feel like going so we just stayed in. I know she went becasue there were pictures of the party on instagram. I tried to ignore it and went to pick up my Bridesmaid or Best Man for the appointment. She asked where Erin was and I told her she wasn’t feeling well and it was probably because she went out the night before. She asked me if I was cool with her bailing and I said no not really but oh well but my Bridesmaid or Best Man she said she would be pissed (She is getting marred too so she understands how I feel with wedding stuff). At this point I agree with her, it should be okay to be pissed. So I vented to my mom and to my Fiance and they all agreed. I figured I would just wait until Erin texts me so we can talk about it.
The other day I was emailing Becca about the wedding and asked her if her and Erin had started planning anything for the bachelorette party. She said she was working on it. I asked if Erin was helping at all and she said “don’t say anything to Erin but we were supposed to meet the other week for coffee to go over it and when I drove up there she never text me back.” This infuriated me becasue you don’t do that to Becca. Becca is one of the most sweetest people you could ever know. She is one of those people that would do anything for anyone and never gets mad or asks for anything in return, plus she lives in Denver and commuting up north to where our families and Erin live is a good 30-40 minute drive. Erin could do that to me and I wouldn’t care, but Becca doesn’t know her like that, I didn’t want her to know Erin like that and now she does and it pisses me off and is kind of embarrassing. Becca, being the sweetheart she is said “please don’t say anything I am sure it was a total missunderstanding and it was convenient for me anyways because I got to have to dinner with my mom while I was up there.” I know she was upset about it but she will never admit it because Becca is not that kind of person.
So now it has been almost two weeks since this whole thing started and I still have yet to hear from Erin. I am not going to bring up the Becca incident because I promised her I wouldn’t and I don’t want to stirr up drama between them. But I am going to bring up her bailing on me at the last second and not coming to the fitting. But how?? I am so mad right now that I don’t know how to approach this. I am a very up front kind of person, I always tell it like it is and really don’t care what others think, everyone knows this about me and I have been this way with Erin before. But with this being about my wedding and about her being my Maid/Matron of Honor I don’t want to go overboard. Part of me wants to keep waiting to see if she is going to text me and apologize or if she is going to act like nothing happened. Like I said before, she is very laid back so I don’t even know if she realizes the extent of how mad I am or if I am even mad at all. I worry if I talk to her in person I will be so mad that I won’t handle it very well, but I don’t want to just text her about it. I know I need to set expectations but I don’t want to be a total bitch if she is sincerely sorry…or does that make me a push over?? AHHHH I am torn and need advice.
Again, sorry for the lengthy post and if it bounces around.