(Closed) NEED ADVICE!!2 weeks before wedding, MOH and Fiance are about to kill each other

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I probably would have kicked her to the curb a long time ago, but the question is really is it going to be more stressful to have her as Maid/Matron of Honor or more stressful to fire her.  You should do whatever will make your day easier/ happier.  I honestly don’t know what that is because I don’t know her, but I think you should go with what’s best for you.

Post # 5
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

The one thing I have learned is that these are the kind of people you don’t need in your life. I know it makes it awkward with the wedding coming up and all, but just think about how much she will upset your fiancé by being there on the most special day of your life, and then in turn make it stressful for the two of you. But you have to think about whether she is a good friend to you. I know sometimes friends and Fiance don’t always get along, but is this someone you see in your future? Is this someone you enjoy to be around. Will you look back on your wedding and smile with her standing by your side? I know from experience that I was friends with people who were not nice, just because I felt I had to. But after I met my SO, he taught me how important it is to surround yourself by honest, real, and positive people. I in turn for rid of the aforementioned bad people in my life and I haven’t looked back since!! Best thing that ever happened. My life is now toxic free and I can certainly feel it!!! But the issue here is she is already part of your wedding, and you don’t want to make it awkward. And if you tell her not to be in the wedding party anymore, you will be no doubt ending the friendship, so you have to see if you are ok with that. Sorry of I went into too much detail with the friend thing (I really don’t know what your relationship is like with her, so I just assumed she was like the girls I know that I got out out of my life, haha).

Post # 6
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

For me personally Darling Husband would come first.  He is my best friend, and your wedding should be about the two of you.  IMO if someone is coming between you and your happiness together, then they should be removed from the wedding party, if not from the guest list.  It will likely be a friendship ending move, though.  It’s a really tough situation because no matter what you do someone will be pissed off at you.  I would rather have a pissed off friend than a pissed off husband at the wedding.  He’s the one you’re committing to forever.  It sounds like whether you have her in the wedding or not the friendship might be doomed.  You deserve a better friend.

Post # 7
Member
8527 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Honestly I think your Fiance was in the wrong and being very childish. What concern is it of his who your MOH deems as a best friend and his comment was pretty rude to both the Maid/Matron of Honor and her best friend. I would have deleted him as well. There are no rules as to how many friends best or otherwise a person can have.

As to who this person does or does not date- well that relationship is between the people who are dating not between your Fiance and this girl. Fact is that you and your Fiance don’t know what was discussed between the two of them- even if your FI’s best friend told him his side of the story that doesn;t mean that it is the whole story/what happened/what the Maid/Matron of Honor felt. Her private business is just that.

A Bridesmaid or Best Man does not have to write placecards or anything else for your wedding. That is you and your FI’s job. Sure they can offer or you can ask but they do not HAVE to do it. Again traditionally a Maid/Matron of Honor can throw a bachelor party or shower but again they don’t have to. It is a gift and it is entirely up to the individual if they can throw that for a bride. Anyone can throw you a party.

Honestly I think your Fiance needs to grow up a bit and personally I find his reasons for wanting you to end the friendship pretty lacking and slightly controlling.

 

 

 

Post # 9
Member
8527 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@RyanAndKristina2012:  WOW- nothing I said was bitchy.

By The Way you have been flagged good luck with your wedding

Post # 12
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@RyanAndKristina2012:  calling the day we were suppose to leave on a trip and cancelling as an adult ………….. my fiance is going to be upset about having someone he doesnt like next to his bride on his wedding day.

I you plan on keeping her…. what guarantee she will even be there at the wedding and not cancelling the day of or worse not even show up?

Post # 14
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If you want my opinion, I do think your fiancee was kind of wrong about a few things.  I don’t think he should be getting in fights on your MOH’s facebook and I don’t really think it is his business who she dates.  Obviously I don’t know the whole context of the situation so I could be wrong.  It doesn’t seem like your Maid/Matron of Honor is abeing very supportive or a good friend  HOWEVER, I think you should take your fiancee’s side right or wrong because he is your partner.  If he doesn’t want her in the wedding, I don’t think she should be there.  It will probably just cause a lot of drama and ruin your day.

Post # 15
Member
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

You asked for advice. There’s no need to stoop to name-calling and attempting to discredit the person giving it just because you don’t agree with it.

Your friend sounds like a flake and I wouldn’t trust her with any wedding responsibilities, but I also think your Fiance should have stayed out of her drama.

The topic ‘NEED ADVICE!!2 weeks before wedding, MOH and Fiance are about to kill each other’ is closed to new replies.

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