(Closed) Need advice…What would you do in this career situation?

posted 7 years ago in Career
Post # 3
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think that if it’s where you both want to live, and they’re paying him a reasonable amount for his profession and your region of the country, then you should go.


I understand being disappointed about relocation costs, and you having to leave your job (thereby reducing your income temporarily) but here are the reasons that (in my mind) overcome those concerns:

1) Without knowing what line of work you two are in, I would still venture to say that it’s unlikely you’d both find jobs at the *exact* same time in the same town.  Someone may have to not work for a little bit- so this is a problem you’re likely to have no matter what job he or you finds in the new town.

2) This sounds harsh, but It’s not your husband’s prospective employers problem that you’ll have to find a new job and relocate.  Yikes, that does sound harsh, but basically in this job market (an extremely tough one) it’s kind of a “buyers'” market, meaning that the employers often have less trouble finding qualified employees than the employees have finding well-paying jobs.  

3) Chances are, if your social circle in the town you want to be in is strong you won’t have trouble networking your way into a job that fits you.  


I would say that unless you feel that giving up your current job would make you unhappy in your new town, you may have to take the temporary financial hit to live where you want to live, nearer to the people that you love. 

Post # 4
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

How much will you have to lower your standard of living to move there? Can you make it soley on his income? I would not count on finding a new job anytime soon in this market. You’ll need to be prepared to live off of his salary alone.

If you can make that work and that is where you really want to be living, go for it.

Post # 7
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Marabeth, if you’re unhappy in your current line of work, and can make it on his income + whatever menial work you can find until you find what you want, do it!  This is an opportunity, and if his job is high-paying, it might not come along again for a while.  

Leaving a 6 year career that paid extremely well to be a broke college student was the best thing I ever did for myself.  I HATE being broke, but not nearly as much as I hated the prospect of doing *that* forever.

Some questions you might have to answer to make this work:

– Do you own a home? Can you afford to pay rent + mortgage until it sells?

– Is he ok with being the main income? Are you ok with that?

– Who will carry the health insurance for you both if you don’t work

– Can you lower your monthly expenses enough to make it on his income alone?  Maybe share a car if you need to.  

– Are you willing to work something crappy and low-paying just to bring in enough to help and to keep yourself busy until you find what you want to do?

– Is there any debt you can pay off now, before you lose the incomes, so that your monthly expenses won’t be going towards that?


Good luck, and congrats!

Post # 10
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Darling Husband and I are currently preparing to move back to the town where his family is, our friends are, and where we ultimately want to stay long-term.  So I know just the position you are in.

I’m taking close to a 50% pay cut for my new job (granted I am leaving a job I dislike and going to a job I think I will really enjoy and thrive in).  My new company is paying no relocation costs (and we are having to move from TX to GA).  Luckily, my Darling Husband can move without having to change jobs so we won’t have any down-time with just 1 income.

I think if this is a city where you can see yourselves long-term, I’d try to make it work. Maybe find a part time retail job or something to bring in some additional income (and keep yourself busy) while you continue to job search.  Jobs can be hard to come by in this economy so if this will be a good career move for your Darling Husband, it can be rough to let that go.

Post # 12
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MM423:  move! once youre in the area, you can always look for a better job. you  have a social circle there, and networking is key to fnding a new job. i live in a different state than most of my family and friends, and while FH lives his job, its really hard to be so far Away.

Post # 14
13295 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If it’s where you want to be, and you can financially afford to make the move, it might be worth it.  It’s hard to find jobs at all lately, and he found one that seems like at least a little pay bump, plus the opportunity for advancement seems really good. 

As soon as you decide to make the move, you should start applying for jobs.  Anything you can get for the time being to help out until you fall into what you really want to do! 

Deciding to move is always the scariest part.  Good luck!

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