(Closed) Need advise on how not to nag.

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

The million dollar question- how not to nag?! Haha. 

I am in the same boat as you- a waiting bee- I know that it’s coming this year and I literally cannot get anything done!!

Firstly, isn’t it conceivable that your SO has spoken to your dad already and set things in motion? If you’re quite sure he hasn’t and it’s getting to you – is a gentle nudge out of the question? How much does he know about the ring that you want? 

I have been determined to STOP bringing it up and have failed miserably about 10 times now. My last slipup was this morning and I’m determined that it was the final one. When I feel the urge to ask I have been bringing up ideas for our next holiday- something that is also exciting and distracting!

I do think that there are ways to bring it up without nagging.. 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
2082 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@katy13:  I would get busy with holiday things or another hobby till after NYE. If he doesn’t propose by then, I would consider moving on with my life. 

Post # 5
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you guys aren’t openly discussing ring plans etc I would just try to relax and hope for a new years proposal. If he doesn’t propose by then you’ll have a bigger issue at hand but dont cross that bridge til you get there.

Maybe drop some hints of “oh look at this pretty ring on Pinterest/ Facebook whatever” to gauge his reaction.

Post # 6
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Just occupy yourself with holiday/Christmas/New Year’s festivities. Try not to think abt it at all. I know, it’s easier said than done. But try!

Then if nothing happens like early to mid-January, ask him abt it. Maybe something unexpected happened.

Post # 7
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Am I the only one here who says whatever she thinks? lol 

I’d just straight up go “HEY boyfriend!…you know it takes a while to find a nice diamond right? You know they’re getting more and more expensive right? Get off your ass and get me one like you said you would!” 

If he’s a procrastinator, he’s going to need a lil naggin. 

ETA: I just saw the part about you thinking it might be a month away? Maybe hold tight til after the holidays then….’tis the season (to get engaged) after all! 

But seriously Jan 2 I’d start warming up my wagging finger

Post # 8
Member
598 posts
Busy bee

@Sasha2011:  I agree.

P.s. we are women, nagging is in our nature! We don’t stop till we get what we want!

Post # 10
Member
1222 posts
Bumble bee

@katy13:  Sounds more like you just want to know he’s doing something. Honestly? Have an open, honest conversation and then drop it. Simply remind him that it may take him longer than he thinks to find a diamond if he hasn’t already started. Once he knows that, I’d leave it alone until after New Year’s and then mention to him that venues fill up fast and you’d best get started to nudge him into gear. You have a little leeway cause most weddings don’t take place in winter, so it’s possible you could not get engaged until spring and still be able to get everything done. So don’t freak out just yet! 🙂

Post # 11
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Sasha2011:  yes, this! I’d give him a chance. And maybe he is intimidated by the thought of asking your dad?

Post # 13
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee

@katy13:  Please don’t get me wrong here, you should get married whenever you BOTH want to.

You need to sit down and have a serious conversation about if its going to happen in 2014, or if its going to happen later.

Nothing wrong with being a young bride, there is nothing wrong with waiting until school or whatever is over either. Or saving for a house payement. As amazing as weddings are, something they are not in the financial cards just yet.

Talk about it. Don’t “nag” there is a big difference.

 

And on the “nagging” thing. What happened to having adult conversations? Our men are not children. They can handle being spoken to like adults.

Post # 14
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Lol I suppose I wouldn’t be much help because I wasn’t very subtle. About 6 months into my relationship with my now Fiance he asked me if I would marry him — if and when he officially asked. I said yes but it had to be after we had been together for awhile longer. I think once that subject has been opened you tend to start thinking about it a lot more then if the subject had not been discussed. So forward another 2 years . . . I am waiting for the official ‘proposal’ but like your man mine forgets and procrastinates. So I just flat out asked him when he was going to propose. Subtle right? He said soon. About two months later he did, very romantic I might add, and that was a year ago. So now we are planning our wedding which is next year in May. He knew he wanted to marry me in the very beginning and I knew I would marry him too but I think when you start getting comfortable with how the relationship is (especially if you live together) you feel like you are already married lol.

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