Post # 1
Hello Bees 🙂
I am a little sad right now…..my grandmother just informed me that she “hates” the cake topper I picked out and that I will be “sad” that I started buying wedding stuff now. I will be filled with “regret” at the things I am choosing now, so she says.
Here is my bf and mine’s situation……
He has the ring, but hasn’t “officially” proposed yet, though I know it is coming very very soon. He and I bought this cake topper and bought the Stanley cup to go with it because we thought it was funny and cute. My boyfriend is an avid sports fan; he even went to college for sports management. Currently, he works for the Pittsburgh Pirates, is a member of online sports blog sites, and watches the games religiously. I thought that the cake topper was hilarious because I always feel like I gotta drag him away from his sports stuff (a joke obviously lol). He thought it was hilarious as well.
Fast forward to today…..I saw a thread about cake toppers and excitedly took a picture of what I have. I was going to post it, but showed my grandmother first. I was so proud because I really thought it was cute and fun.
Her response, however, made me feel crestfallen :-(. She said that it sends the wrong message about me. She says it portrays me as “roping” my man into marriage, which is clearly not true. I am not forcing my man to marry me; we have been together for 6 years! I do not want to have super super traditional cake…. I wanted it to be fun.
What is your take on this? I really need some advice because I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut!
Post # 4
This is just me… but I really hate cake toppers that portray the woman dragging/pulling/roping the guy. I know its just a joke, but its distasteful. To me, anyways. But different strokes for different folks, ya know!
Post # 5
It makes you laugh and your Fiance laugh. It means something to both of you! I think your grandmother is reading WAAAY to much into it! And I agree with you! The cake should be FUN! We are having a pirate themed cake with clay figures of me and R jumping out a treasure chest.
Post # 6
I admitt, personally, I hate that sort of cake topper. I think they’re sexist and mildly offensive. HOWEVER, I’m not you. Your wedding is not my wedding. If you and your soon-to-be fiance love it, by all means use it! It’s your day, and your opinions are the only two that matter.
Post # 7
I don’t see it the way your grandmother sees it. I see it as you trying to stop him from being so involved in sports.
From what you have written, it seems to suit you both, so I think it is a good choice for you, plus you both picked it out together.
Your grandmother seems like a traditionalist, so she probably would be more happy with a more traditional cake topper. I am sure once she sees your vision coming together, she will realize that this is a good choice for you. She may still shake her head about it, but I am sure she will be happy with whatever you decide.
About purchasing items before you are engaged, I would be careful about that. Your’s and your BF’s tastes may change, so just be wise with your choices and you will be fine.
Post # 8
it depends on the mind set of the people who look at it, my mother for instance would think the same as your granma that it sends the wrong message, but others would get the joke. there are many other cake toppers that also show women dragging or forcing their men into marriage with the groom trying to get away.. i’m not a major fan of them but i get that its all in good humour. i would wait to be officially engaged and hav a date b4 buying wedding stuff cos tastes change over time, by the time the wedding rolls around you may not even like this topper anymore
Post # 9
I think it’s funny! I’ve seen a helluva lot worse! Go for it 🙂
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden
I personally don’t care for that one bit. As a matter of fact, I saw it in the store a few months ago and wrote a whole blog post about it.
I find it sexist and don’t see why any woman would want to be portrayed as a pushy shrew, or why any man would want to be portrayed as a powerless sap.
That said, it’s your call. I wouldn’t judge someone for using that topper; I just would never use it for myself.
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for the feedback…..I truly appreciate the help….so far seems like mixed reviews….I will talk to my bf tonight and see what he thinks….. I am so confused lol….. 😛
Post # 12
I love it! I think your guests will love it too!
Post # 13
personally, i won’t have a cake topper like this (although i love the stanley cup), but if you a& your Fiance picked it out and it is special to you- go for it! the people at your wedding sholdn’t judge you for yoru cake topper, if they know you well enough they will get a kick out of it too! as an alternative, you could use it for the grooms cake if you are having one…
Post # 14
I personally find those distasteful too. Its hard not to read into that as a wussy/powerless groom and a domineering/pushy/shrewish bride, and if it were the groom pulling the bride I would still feel the same way. I really, really dislike those.
However, my Fiance and I are really sentimental and want to expose how much we truly love each other and want to be married on our wedding day, which some people could find overly mushy and boring! LOL So if this cake topper fits you two as a couple, I say go for it!
Post # 15
I think that cake topper is awesome!. You both should do what you want to. If this makes you happy, then go for it!! 🙂
Post # 15
I don’t usually like those kinds of cake toppers. But combined with the trophy it’s pretty funny. And I love the grooms reaction.