(Closed) Need BM advice

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Legallyblondiebride: I understand your frustration. You are far nicer than me because I wouldn’t have paid for the dress. You should have a serious conversation with them. They don’t seem to be taking it seriously.

Are any of them married? I tend to see that my married BM’s are so much more understanding than my un-married girls. Maybe because they have been  through it?

Don’t let it get to you! I know that’s hard but it’s your big day. Maybe tell them if they don’t step it up they can just be guests? But of course put it nicer than that.

Everything will work out!

Post # 5
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m having the same issue. I’m fed up with the whole thing too, I was stuck in the middle as well and it’s so annoying. My one Bridesmaid or Best Man finally said she is taking over and planning everything and then who ever shows up does and whoever doesn’t we will still have a blast. Thank god for her doing that because it was stress I didn’t need. Sounds like you should give your sister the approval to do the same and jsut remember to be happy with what she can afford since the others girls wont help. You will still have a good time and it will releave your sister the stress of having to deal with all of them.

Post # 7
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Legallyblondiebride: OMG…. I see it all the time too and I really wish I had friends like that. I have one great Bridesmaid or Best Man out of six that helps with everything other then that…. nothing and total drama and stressful with them. I guess I just have a poor judgement when making friends lol.

Post # 9
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Legallyblondiebride: Geez you and me both. Glad I’m not the only one. To tell you the truth it’s just way easier not to have any. I like just sharing my Fiance friends, he has awesome friends and we all get along.

Post # 11
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Legallyblondiebride: That’s exactly how my Fiance feels about mine. He thinks I get “used” all the time cuz I’m there for them no matter what. I’m with you on going back in time, I’d have two girls that’s it! I’m going to go post a little about my mess in a minute for some advice. Thanks and congrats, you’re nice to talk to!

Post # 12
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Legallyblondiebride: You don’t sound like a bridezilla. You sound upset and I’ve been there. I just don’t think they get it… or at least that is the excuse to make myself feel better! I agree with both of you about being fed up… Why does it people always have at least one Bridesmaid or Best Man that does this?

Post # 13
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@JRL2012: I agree she isn’t a bridezilla. That term is so over used and people really don’t get it. I’m so glad you agree with being fed up…. I was so fed up last week that I almost….. considered throwing everything out the window and eloping. Crazy???

Post # 14
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think it’s too late. I think you need to have a talk with your Bridesmaid or Best Man. Tell them what you expect them to do and if they can afford it. If they can’t, give them the option to backout. 

Post # 15
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Am I off base by thinking bridesmaids do not contribute financially to the shower?

Also, and I sympathize but this may be a solution- just hit up a few bars with them like you would do on a weekend but deem it your bachelorette night and get dressed up.  My experience has been you won’t pay for your drinks on bachelorette night!  THEN do the spa day with your mom and sister to recoop!

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