Post # 1
I need advice. I have 1 moh and 3 bridesmaids for our wedding. This past weekend I had my bridal shower and the day before one of my bridesmaids texted that she was too busy and couldn’t make it anymore. Everything that we have planned she has backed out of last minute. The only thing she’s done so far is come with us to pick up their dresses, which she decided to leave with me. I have no idea when she’s going to come pick it up to get hemmed and honestly I’m afraid she’s not even going to show up for the wedding.
I keep trying to call and text her but she says she’s busy. Now I have a call with her tomorrow at a scheduled time, guess I should be greatful that she is talking to me.
Based on the last text I got from her it sounds like she is too busy and doesn’t want to be in the wedding anymore. I don’t know what to do, only 2 and a half months till the wedding. What do I say to her?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Let her know that you are concerned that she may not show up for the wedding. See what she says. If she wants to back out then let her and be reasonable and allow her to attend as a guest if she wants.
Otherwise, I would continue planning with a backup plan in mind in case she doesn’t show. A backup plan need only be that you go forward without her. You don’t have to have the same number of maids as groomsmen so I wouldn’t worry about replacing her. I just wouldn’t rely on her to do anything more than show up at the wedding.
Post # 4
I had a similar situation. I would try to keep it as low-drama as possible – with a wedding in the offing, there should be enough of that already 😉
I would offer her an out and say tha,t while she means so much to you, it seems like being a bridesmaid has become more of a chore than an honor, and you totally understand if she’d rather be a guest. Hopefully she either shapes up or takes the out. If she just keeps on how she’s been, then just assume she won’t make it, and be pleasantly surprised if she does.
Post # 5
I agree, express your concern and offer her an out. Maybe she doesn’t know how to approach you about it. She may be grateful if you come to her. Hopefully that solves the problem. Best of luck!
Post # 6
Yup, I agree with these comments. Reach out to her and see what’s going on, sometimes they feel overwhelmed and need to talk about it, but they don’t know how to bring it up.
Post # 8
Thank you all so much! Will be talking with her soon. Hopefully all goes well.
Post # 9
I’d check in with her in a non-wedding-related way to make sure nothing’s wrong. She must be a close friend to you and probably has a history of being reliable or she wouldn’t be your bridesmaid. Could it be that she has something really tough going on that she didn’t want to lay on you during wedding planning? What about inviting her out just to hang out for fun, don’t discuss the wedding at all, and give her a chance to talk to you.