(Closed) Need Bridesmaid advice

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Let her know that you are concerned that she may not show up for the wedding.  See what she says.  If she wants to back out then let her and be reasonable and allow her to attend as a guest if she wants.

Otherwise, I would continue planning with a backup plan in mind in case she doesn’t show.  A backup plan need only be that you go forward without her.  You don’t have to have the same number of maids as groomsmen so I wouldn’t worry about replacing her.  I just wouldn’t rely on her to do anything more than show up at the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had a similar situation.  I would try to keep it as low-drama as possible – with a wedding in the offing, there should be enough of that already 😉

I would offer her an out and say tha,t while she means so much to you, it seems like being a bridesmaid has become more of a chore than an honor, and you totally understand if she’d rather be a guest.  Hopefully she either shapes up or takes the out.  If she just keeps on how she’s been, then just assume she won’t make it, and be pleasantly surprised if she does.

Post # 5
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree, express your concern and offer her an out. Maybe she doesn’t know how to approach you about it. She may be grateful  if you come to her. Hopefully that solves the problem. Best of luck!

Post # 6
Hostess
23602 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yup, I agree with these comments.  Reach out to her and see what’s going on, sometimes they feel overwhelmed and need to talk about it, but they don’t know how to bring it up.

Post # 7
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Off course, agree.

Post # 9
Member
2575 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’d check in with her in a non-wedding-related way to make sure nothing’s wrong.  She must be a close friend to you and probably has a history of being reliable or she wouldn’t be your bridesmaid.  Could it be that she has something really tough going on that she didn’t want to lay on you during wedding planning?  What about inviting her out just to hang out for fun, don’t discuss the wedding at all, and give her a chance to talk to you.

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