- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2017
Long story long, I have no effing idea what I’m doing.
I have only been to 4 weddings in 10 years. I was in my besties wedding but we lived 400 miles apart. She picked and found all of our dresses in the right sizes at a store at the mall. I paid her for it when I was in town. She told me what kind of shoes to get and I did. I showed up for the bachelorette party and the wedding. Easy peasy no drama. I thought that’s how it always was.
I have 5 bridesmaids and one junior bridesmaid. I asked them with cute bridesmaid proposals. They said yes. Now what? So far everytime I try to involve them in things it turns in to a mess. Maybe I’m being “too nice” and giving them too many options and too much say so? What’s the “norm”?
The Jr bridesmaid is no problem. 3 of the adults are great really. The other 2, I love them, but man they make things hard. For example, I wanted to include them in picking out my dress (if they wanted to, they all said they were excited). I’ll save you the drama because I’ve already posted all about it but let’s just say the 3 were great but one (FSIL) made me feel so bad about my dress, I abandoned my first pick and went alone to pick a new dress forfeiting a deposit on the original in the process.
The two are super opinionated about everything even when it’s not solicited. We all kind of text back and forth about wedding stuff and the 2 often don’t like what I like. They constantly send me wedding ideas that I don’t like (I never say I don’t like them because I have manners). I kind of feel like would only like things they came up with anyway TBH.
Well, Now it’s time to pick bridesmaid dresses. I gave them a designer (and website) and asked them to send me any they liked. I picked the designer because they have dresses available in our wedding colors. One sends me 20 dresses from another designer. The other sends me one dress by the right designer, and declares the rest ugly. I feel like I am for a long ride at this rate. Please help me make this all go smoother with out being a dictator. I love them very much and want them to feel included but things just keep turning in to a mess!
What is standard when it comes to bridesmaids? What should they, and shouldn’t they, be involved in decision wise? I want to be courteous but also not abandon my wedding vision. Is their a happy medium? What’s the standard bridemaide etiquette.