(Closed) Need Christian Advice!!!!

posted 5 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Are you going to have your pastor marry you in the courthouse? I would wait until the Christian ceremony because you need to be married in God’s eyes, not the government. That’s just my opinion though.

Post # 4
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m not sure what religion you are (you just indicate *Christian*) but you can have a religious and civil ceremony without spending too much money.  In fact, if you have the reception AT the same church where you marry you typically save a TON of money.  You can have a cake and punch reception for less than $500, usually.  Just be reasonable.

Which is more important…. being married in the eyes of God and your church?  Or a big fancy dress and catered dinner?

That being said (and it’s just my opinion) your marriage isn’t blessed by God until the relgious sacament / committment.  So THAT is the ceremony that is important religiously.

Post # 5
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This might be a question that you should discuss with each other and with your pastor.  Some denominations recognize civil ceremonies, others do not recognize a marriage as “valid” unless it is performed by an ordained clergy and/or includes certain specific traditions/rituals.

If you belong to a denomination that does not recognize a civil union, then you are probably more likely to decide that waiting until after the church wedding is important to you.  On the other hand, if “married is married” to your church, you may decide that you have committed yourselve to one another, and whether a minister prayed over the vows or not, God witnessed them and you aren’t sinning to live with your husband.

I’m of the opinion that marriage is marriage, since God is omnipresent and omnicent (He’s everywhere & all knowing), God will be aware of a court house marriage.  But, because I believe this way, I wouldn’t have a church wedding after the civil ceremony.  It wouldn’t make sense to me.

If you are having a wedding for just the two of you – in other words, eloping – then you won’t need to hold a receoption, and the only REQUIRED costs will be a marriage license and the fees/love gift for the pastor.  If your FI is attending a church in the US, he will probably be able to speak to his pastor/priest and inquire about the price of officiating an elopement.  If you don’t think you will feel married without the blessing of the church, this is probably something you will want to investigate.

Post # 7
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You are getting married, you will be man and wife since you are professing your decloration of intent (a.k.a you are making a vow to one another to want to become one.) This would be acceptable to God because it is a ceremony of marriage. Not all weddings can be glamarous, and sometimes they are simple civil ceremonies but it doesn’t take God out of the equation. Pray about this matter, together, pray and ask God, he’ll give you the answer. Your wedding will still be beautiful, still filled with love and God will be with you, he doesn’t leave just because your wedding is not in a church being officated over by a paster/preacher/deacon etc. Before the ceremony you two could even read your favorite love passages from the bible, give your own blessing over your wedding before you go into the Judge’s chambers/room, something to make you feel God’s precense in your union. In the end, once you’re married, it is perfectly sanctioned by God to have your wedding night as man and wife. 

I hope this helps you, I am a Christian too. 

Post # 9
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We’re getting married a week before you here in a religious ceremony (the only legal ones here are by lawyers or in Catholic churches, but we’re going through a Christian pastor)… our legal ceremony will follow in the U.S. a few months later, we hope… if our K1 visa goes through alright. I don’t really have much advice, but I just wanted to say GOOD LUCK with your visa, etc. I feel your pain! :-X

Post # 12
Member
1928 posts
Buzzing bee

personally, I think if your heart is with God and you’re committed to each other it doesn’t matter whetther u have a civil ceremony or “christian” ceremony. God isn’t stupid… he knows your heart and that’s what’s important.. not what an institution’s rules are…

However, I would look at it like this… you’ve waiting this long to be together.. how do you want it to happen? After the civil ceremony done b/c of necessity, or after the whole “wedding” ceremony and party happens? For me personally, I’ve always wanted to wait until after our wedding, and to me the wedding would not be just the legal ceremony.

Post # 13
Member
1928 posts
Buzzing bee

like, to you, which is the “real” wedding.. the civil ceremony or the church ceremony? I’d wait until the one you view as “real”, otherwise you may feel like your cheating, lol.

Post # 14
Member
10510 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Here, you can get married at many churches for less than the cost of an officient doing a civil service.

Often, the costs listed on church websites are for a full ceremony, and include things like cleaning after the ceremony.

I recommend you talk to a few churches (start with the one that one of you attends).  I know of ministers who would do it for free, or by donation only, and that’s at churches where the listed fee is over $500.

Post # 15
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Aurevoirbaby:  I am from the United States, but my husband-to-be is from Central America. We just decided the date for the religious ceremony is January 5th, and we hope the legal one in the USA that determines our residency is April 5th, “si Dios quiere” as we say down here 🙂 The religious ceremony requires preparation that there won’t be time for with the 90 day limit in the USA. Good luck to you guys! 🙂

Post # 16
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2012

In my opinion, it’s best to wait until after the marriage ceremony. It is difficult to wait, but ultimately God will bless you for choosing to honor him.

Some suggestions, if you two will be living together for a few months before the ceremony, prepare separate sleeping arrangements (i.e. you in the room, him in the living room). I am getting married November 3, 2012 which is only about 3 weeks away. Sometimes we stay the night together but it helps if we are not actually sleeping in the same room. Also, pray daily that God will give you strength to resist temptation until your wedding night. Remember, your not alone! God is going through this with you.

Hope this helps! Congrats!

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