(Closed) Need comfort…tried on dresses for the first time today

posted 11 years ago in Dress
Post # 4
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

First, I’m so sorry you had a negative experience! It sounds like a number of things just didn’t go your way. Don’t give up, though!

About your mom, is she always like that? Is there anything going on with her that would influence her behavior and attitude? Would it do any good to talk with her? If she can’t be supportive, maybe you should try next time with a good friend.

About the dress, I can’t comment on the dress because I don’t see the link, but it is definitely disappointing when your dream dress doesn’t look the same on you as you envisioned. It’s possible that the style you like isn’t a good fit for your body type and you just need to look at additional styles. I had this happen, too, and had to figure out how to roll with it, trying on different cuts until I found one I liked.

About the saleswoman, forget her. She has bigger issues that have nothing to do with you. Have your girls walk in alone if that’s what you want. I’ve seen it done both ways and it works equally well!

Big hugs, honey. Better luck next time – if you want more support and are in MN, give me a call and I’ll go with you!

Post # 5
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You deserve a hug and the knowledge that you are not alone!!! First, try try again– different shops, AND styles that you normally wouldnt try. You’ll be surprised by what looks really good on you. Don’t judge the dress on the hanger. Try it on! If your size isn’t available, their loss, keep looking and don’t settle. YOUR dress is out there and you will feel stunning in it.

Secondly, as far as the “rule book” I applaud you for not wanting a cookie cutter wedding– but rather wanting it to be YOUR wedding. That’s how it shoudl be, and furthermore, guests remember what was different or special about weddings, not what was the exact same as every other wedding they’ve ever been to.  It’s truly frustrating when people– moms, friends, sales associates, etc.–try to make the planning process (esp the dress shopping) about themselves or their own experiences. It’s not theirs, it’s yours. As much as we love them, they might need to be gently reminded of this or at least ignored. If no one is making you feel like the star of your custom-designed day, then let the bees do that for you. SO many of us have probably been there.

Personally, I know that my first experience was a distaster. It was every one else’s day– not mine, and I didn’t find anything that I liked so I came home ready to give up and settle. But then I regrouped, surrounded myself with supportive people that were excited FOR me, not INSTEAD of me and am now having an amazing time planning my wedding.

I didn’t see your picture? Did it get posted?

Post # 6
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

So sorry your first dress shopping venture turned out like that. Your shopping experience at DB (I’m not bashing DB as I know many brides had really positive experiences there) sounds similar to mine. The consultant I was working with just wouldn’t listen to my dress preferences and really seemed uncomfortable with my size (at that time I was about a 14/16 & I am 5’6).Happily I found my dress at a store in my city and the experience was night and day.

Keep looking! You will find something!


Post # 7
6994 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i am so sorry your first experience dress shopping was difficult. dont give up! your dress is out there! Have you ever thought of ordering one online? We bought my sister’s dress (size 24) from lightinthebox. very reasonably priced and good quality. It looked beautiful on her

maybe something like this?


They have a plus size section but check out ALL the wedding gowns because you can get any dress in any size up to 26W. Even check out the bridemaids dresses, you can get them in white in any size.

For your body shape i would suggest an a-line that clings at the bottom of your bust or at the waist. i think this dress is really beautiful


Post # 8
6994 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@LuvMySailor: p.s. – Dont let other people get you down. After all it is a day about you and Fiance and celebrating your love for each other in whatever way is special to you. you only get to do it once so do it your way 🙂

Post # 9
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry your first trip went like this.  Keep your chin up!  I started shopping alone, which has made a difference.  Your opinion doesn’t get confused with the opinions of others when it’s just you.  I would shake off the comments by the salesgirl too… she sounds miserable.  Also, the ideas about my dress that I had originally did not look good on my figure either and after trying on tons of different styles I have learned the shape that looks the best, so keep at it! 

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