(Closed) Need comfort…tried on dresses for the first time today

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have picked that same dress to try on when I go!

I am also a real plus size bride, at 5’1″ and a Size 20 top and 18/20 bottoms. I have been really nervous to try on dresses for fear of feeling just the same way you do right now.

Just try to take a deep breath, remember how amazing you are inside and out and Keep looking!!! Don’t be discouraged!!! πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think it looks “retro”; it looks really classy. I love it, and it doesn’t look “matronly.” I promise! πŸ™‚

Maybe next time you shouldn’t bring Mom along when you go to try on dresses. Bring a supportive friend or maybe even go solo if that would be less stressful. It doesn’t matter that she works in the wedding business; she has no right to embarrass you like that. To avoid her getting upset, just don’t tell her when you’re going to look again. 

Post # 6
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t think your dress looks matronly at all! In fact, it’s one of the dresses I have been hoping to try on when I go, and I’m almost 21 : )

There’s another post on here for plus sized brides (I’m one myself) where they’re all showing their dresses, and this dress was in that post.

Post # 7
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ugh, we all love our moms but they can be so incredibly negative especially when it comes to weight. Somehow they think their disparaging, heartbreaking remarks will cause their child to run out and lose weight instantly. Probably it will drive their kid to a tear soaked pint of Ben & Jerry’s…

Leave mom at home. Bring a supportive friend. When you’ve made your choice, bring mom in with the forewarning that the dress is not up for negotiation and that she is to say how lovely it is even if she’s lying. That’s the deal.

As for the saleslady – how pathetic of her. Sorry but if she is such a wedding guru she wouldn’t be trying to flog dresses at the local DB. Give her a piece of your mind and ask to be helped by someone who has customer service skills. And see how she likes them apples!

Post # 8
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

PS. The dress is very pretty and personally, I’m a fan of pretty sleeves on white wedding dresses!

Post # 10
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@dunlapsangel:First of all CONGRATS GIRL on finding the love of your life and being engaged!!!!!  Secondly, as the self proclaimed QUEEN of “doing what I want to do bc it’s my wedding”, you are hereby allowed to do the same.  If you don’t want your girls to have escots, let them STRUT by themselves!  You are right, there is no law and as long as it’s not completely inappropriate, you should do whatever you want.  And…I’m sure your mom meant well, but if she is not a positive ally during the dress fitting experience, you may have to have her sit it out for someone who is equally as HONEST and can help you pick the best dress for you, but more of a help to you and doesn’t bring you to tears.  Bridal stores can be fickle…I was shocked to be put in the Plus sized category and I’m 5ft5in and size 10/12 (depending on style of dress)!!!!

Oh…something else…there is a Full Figured tab here on weddingbee and those ladies are wonderful and have some really good ideas on dresses, looks, rings, etc. Some of them have gotten married already and looked amazing!!!  Check it out!!

Girl, beautiful women come in ALLL SHAPES, SIZES, and COLORS.  And remember, your “HONEY” (get it…bees…honey…tee hee)…your Honey asked you to get married just the way you are.  That is what’s important!!! 

{{HUGS}}

Post # 12
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i am so sorry your first experience dress shopping was difficult. dont give up! your dress is out there! Have you ever thought of ordering one online? We bought my sister’s dress (size 24) from lightinthebox. very reasonably priced and good quality. It looked beautiful on her

maybe something like this?

 http://www.lightinthebox.com/Princess-A-line-Square-Court-Train-Satin-Chiffon-Plus-Size-Wedding-Dress–HSGX043-_p40997.html

They have a plus size section but check out ALL the wedding gowns because you can get any dress in any size up to 26W. Even check out the bridemaids dresses, you can get them in white in any size.

For your body shape i would suggest an a-line that clings at the bottom of your bust or at the waist. i think this dress is really beautiful

 http://www.lightinthebox.com/A-line-Halter-Court-Train-Satin-Organza-Wedding-Dress–WSM0468-_p66372.html

Dont let people get you down, remember its your wedding. you only do it once so do it your way πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Omg! Date twin! I LOVED that dress! I tried it on several times, it is so gorgeous and classic!

I ended up buying a different dress because everyone hated the pick-ups… I think it would look great on your apple shape. Don’t give up, that consultant was out of line. Congrats on your engagement and good luck with dress shopping!!!

Post # 14
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@LuvMySailor: awww im sorry you had a not so good experience dress shopping your first time! dont give up hope! i would highly recommend trying another bridal shop… maybe a plus sized one (i drove almost 2 hours just so i could go to a plus size bridal shop and have more than 3 dresses to try on).  maybe next time you should bring your moh or someone who is going to be super supportive… and as for that bridal consultant…. i would have given her a piece of my mind… people are so rude! they dont deserve your business. i hope you have a better experience next time πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
40 posts
Newbee

Don’t let ANYONE bring you down! I’ve been telling myself the same thing lately – LOVE yourself. Love who you are, and try to find the beauty in yourself. I’m 5’4″ and 210…at DB I wore a size 18/20…I had a similar experience with the sales lady and I went to try on with my engaged friend who is a size 4. Of course they found every dress for her in her size, and only 3 for me. The first two were hideous and I knew before I put them on that I wouldn’t like them. The 3rd dress was the one you posted and I lovelovelove it! It’s perfect for my October rustic wedding.

I invited my mom to come for the 1st dress shopping experience, but I called her that day and laid the groundwork for the day. I let her know that I’m aware that I’m overweight and I don’t need her to point it out to me. I explained that they make dresses up to size….like…26, so they would definitely have something to fit me, and that we were going as a learning experience to find out what kind of dress might look good on me. I said that we were going to keep our words as positive as possible and if the dress didn’t look good, it didn’t matter WHY it looked bad, it just wasn’t ‘the one’ and that she should just say, “it doesn’t do anything for you”. She said, “I would never say anything about your weight!” (scoff….mmmkay mom)

I wouldn’t take your mom again either, but as others have suggested, when you do find ‘the one’ and you want to show her, explain it to her like I did to my mom. Besides, wasn’t it our parents who taught us, ‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’?

Congratulations on your wedding – and when you’re ready to try dresses again, tell yourself that you’re just searching for ‘the dress’, and if you don’t find it today, it isn’t for any other reason than because the right dress wasn’t there. It has nothing to do with your body, and everything to do with your confidence. Katiebee is absolutely right – your Fiance chose you because of who you are and he is going to love you in any dress – he just wants you to feel beautiful and confident walking toward your life with him! <3

Post # 16
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think the dress is amazing and I think i might add it to my list of dresses to try on next time i go im only 21 if that helps!

And I say next time go with a friend of a BM/MOH There usually alot nicer and can give great feedback!

((Hugs)) Sorry you had such a bad time trying on dresses πŸ™

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