(Closed) Need constructive advice: SO bought a bad stone

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
483 posts
Helper bee

Were you happy with it before you got it appraised ? And now that it’s appraised and you kno the exact value you don’t like the stone … If the appraisal is less than you payed than obviously that’s a bad deal .. But you shouldnt let the appraisal  make you hate your stone if you loved it when you got it… I would just save up for a good upgrade if you are planning on that anyway and maybe try a different appraiser in the mean time they may give you a different result… Every stone is unique and just because things arnt “ideal” on the grading chart is what allows you to get way more for your money so the fact that you were originally looking at .5 and .7 makes perfect Sence that a larger stone would be “lesser” quality but that’s doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful … If you want to stick with that price point as well as that higher carat there are other stones that can have all the same grading scores and same price point but it can look “better” in every day lighting for the same price you payed .. And it can still have a similar appraisal value … Just save up and upgrade and find a stone with better grading so your appraisal will be higher 

Post # 4
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would plan an occasion or a date for an upgrade – an anniversary or a birthday or something, and keep him involved so that he thinks it’s his idea, and then guide him toward getting excited over buying the stone you want (you mentioned that it would be primarily your income covering the purchase).  Good luck!  It must be a bummer to know that that something that holds such sentimental value has much less monetary value than you’d both been lead to believe.

Post # 5
Member
483 posts
Helper bee

I’m sure there’s somewhere you’s both have wanted to go plan a trip or something ! And renew your vows 

Post # 6
Member
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m sorry, that’s unfortunate.  I agree with others that waiting until an anniversary’s a good idea.  If you’re open to alternative stones, you could look into moissy or (a few years down the line) the Amora gem to keep the price down.

 

If it’s too late, why not get a blingy band which you can wear every day?  
 

Post # 7
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would plan to renew your vows and then maybe talk about upgading as a gift to each other?

Sorry you have to deal with this! One of the sale reps i spoke to said Cut was the single most important aspect of a stone!

Post # 8
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Since you said you think it hurt him, get a really amazing wedding band and then in a few years for something special maybe you guys can talk about an upgrade!  Maybe he can propose to you with a stone and you guys can renew your vows or something?!? 

I think you will have to wait though, just be happy knowing one day you will have the stone you really want, until then just be happy that the man of your dreams asked you to marry you, and think about his feelings, he is very proud of giving you a ring πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
483 posts
Helper bee

Sparkle is deffinately important no one wants a dud ! But you can certainly find a new stone at the same price point that sparkles Wayyyyyy better ! So just keep an eye out it doesn’t need to be something that breaks the bank !

Post # 11
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

That sucks for both of you. He probably just figured that going to a reputable-looking jeweler would result in a good, quality ring. I’m sure he’s just embarrassed. Maybe bring it up when the stress of the wedding is over, a year or two away? Just mention that you want to pick something out together so he doesn’t feel like you are undermining his choice. Good luck! πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
483 posts
Helper bee

Also upgrading. Doesn’t mean you have to get rid of your old stone ! So it’s not like your “throwing” it out try an upgrade do that you don’t have to sacrafice the sentiment 

Post # 14
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would suggest contacting a reputable cutter, like Brian Gavin (http://www.brianthecutter.com/diamond-recut-service/) to find out if he can improve the cut without losing too much in size.  From what I’ve read having a diamond recut isn’t all that expensive (less than $400 I think?).  If the jeweler he purchased from won’t allow the diamond to be traded, I would definitely look into whether re-cutting could significantly improve the stone without losing a lot in terms of the stone’s diameter. 

Post # 15
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Tough call…

You are most certainly between a rock and a hard spot (pun intended)

He bought you what he thought (a) you wanted, and (b) what he could afford, and (c) what he thought was a good deal.

THAT is HUGE from a Man’s POV (you don’t want to hurt his feelings… men do not take well to this type of scenario… ie he failed / failed you)

I understand the want of switching out the stone tho… and the big sigh you must feel everytime you look at your ring the way it is

You MOST certainly have to make this look like it is his idea… but at the same time, you need to be prepared that the “dud stone” might have to continue to be part of your life (sentimental value)… be it in your E-Ring or otherwise.

Some jewellery stores will take in a Diamond for trade towards another (more so if it is the same store where you made the initial purchase … they call this a Diamond Upgrade / Lifetime Guarantee etc … check out your paperwork, or their website for more info).

If this is the case and he is ok with that, that is one way to get closer to getting a more valuable stone.

Otherwise, you might want to replace the diamond in the setting… and hold onto the original to be reset into another piece of jewellery… a pendant might be nice (where diamond sparkle isn’t as big an issue)

Sadly, I don’t think people know enough about diamonds when they purchase them… there are the 4Cs (Colour – Cut – Clarity – and Carat) that come into play… but CUT covers both the quality of the cut and the shape. 

Most customers with a budget have to sacrifice something from the list (Movie Stars & Celebrities, not so much)

For many that is the Carat Size… better to have a smaller Quality Diamond than a larger not so perfect one.  Sadly the trend right now is all about size, so that means for many Customers, something else has to be sacrificed to make the purchase affordable

(The Average Diamond size in North America is aprox a 1/2 Carat… so somewhere in the .30 to .60 range)

Your Diamond at over 1 Carat is beyond that norm… so I am sure your Fiance thinks he did the right thing by you (and so ya, he could be very hurt if you are not happy with it)

Diamonds are not cheap… and even your “dud stone” at over 1 Carat is going to be worth a substantial amount of cash.  A “good” replacement could easily be in the $ 10,000 range OR MORE depending on how HIGH UP the 4Cs scale you wish to be.

Hope this is helpful,

 

Post # 16
Member
483 posts
Helper bee

Sorry I’m talking like I’m texting -_- I know you can clarity enhance stones….. Bring up recutting  again so it’s not as if he waisted money yea you loose a little ct but it may not be THAT much … but if the inside is cloudy that may be able to “clean” it and it could help with sparkle and it can look like a whole new beautiful stone and appear larger just by cleaning it out and cutting it correctly .. It’s worth looking into if you get to keep the stone he picked out .. And putting money into it to make it better could possible be less than buying a new stone (If you do stick with diamond)   and keep the sentiment if that’s something that’s bothering him … I dunno just giving you options 

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