Post # 1
Member
41 posts
Newbee
I really try not to bring up the topic of a wedding, but sometimes it just happens because I can’t help it. Also, my SO sometimes brings it up too, and then I get in to talking about it because it’s fun! 🙂 Anyway, 2 nights ago we actually started talking about a specific time frame for when we want to get married. It is likely to be in June, July, or August of this year. Of course, we aren’t yet engaged and that has to happen first. But we do know it’s going to be a quick engagement. We haven’t even looked at or talked about rings though, and my goal right now is to just literally not say a word about anything. I really want to make it through the weekend without doing so. That’s as far out as I can hope to be successful currently. LOL. Anyway, I know he’s thinking about stuff, and I want to give him room and space to think about it without me bringing up the topic. And I do not want him to feel pressured.
Just wanting some encouragement in my endeavor. It is hard!
Post # 2
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
berrynuttyfarm: Hi There!
Before I became engaged, I would bring up weddings and engagements WAY TOO MUCH (guilty!) Finally, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks that when my partner does propose, would I feel like it’s because I talked about it so much? I didn’t want that feeling at all. And, it as also important that I knew that it was something that my partner wanted 100% and a decision that he came to without me coaxing him so much.
You guys have talked about it and it sounds like you’re on the same page. I would seriously give him the space he needs now to make it happen. After I backed off the talk completely, my partner proposed a couple months later. After he proposed, he told me he noticed that I had backed off the proposal and wedding talk and it was just what he needed to get there on his own terms.
This is not something that you should ever rush, pressure or hound your partner about. He will get there and when he does, you’ll know that the proposal is something that he also wanted 100%.
Post # 3
Member
42 posts
Newbee
- Wedding: Tom's Country Place
I’m getting ready to back-off at least a little bit myself. However, after expecting her ring for almost 3 months my sorority “little” sister [finally?] was proposed to this past weekend. My SO and I have been together for almost 7 years so I’m thinking it will come at the 7 year mark (beginning of May) or a week later on my college graduation day. Stupid me I told my Dad (who I’m very close with) about my timeline suspicion and he said not to get my hopes up and expect anything since it would ruin that day. I guess I thought it was rude since there’s a nicer way he could have said it, but I learned my lesson—tell the bees instead :).
As far as the ring I’m really trying not to get my hopes up because of an interesting thing he said: Around Christmas time a Facebook friend was proposed to and her ring was like 4 sizes too small. It barely fit around her first knuckle and could not go over the bend of her finger. I showed my boyfriend and he was like “that’s ridiculous, why didn’t he know her size before he proposed? You should always get the right size…” and I was shocked and impressed to hear that. Around the same time I gave him the sign-in info to my etsy account so he could view my dream ring (of the 25 or so I favorited) (I want a rose gold morganite ring so they’re easiest to find there) and told him to do with that what he pleased instead of me being nit picky and he gets to ultimately choose. Since its fairly likely that he’d need to order it online he would need to know my size. We have not done any ring shopping (or sizing) and I decided in an effort to stop pushing that he can be the one to suggest we do that. It’s hard since I’m the planner. I wonder if he knows how long it takes for them to make a ring and if he knows about the morganite color properties and how many prongs there can be……you see where I’m going.
Sometimes my anxiety about it gets the best of me and that’s why I decided it’s time to just chill out. He’s done some pretty romantic stuff in the past so I just need to let it go, at least for a while. Long story short, I feel you. Waiting is hard. So hard sometimes. He definitely loves you and he’ll do it when he’s ultimately ready. Clearly for you it’s gotta be fairly soon! It’s good to know I’m not the only one playing the waiting game.
Post # 4
Member
41 posts
Newbee
marie02: Exactly. My goal is to give him breathing room and back off a little. I don’t push a lot but definitely more than I should. And I think shutting up about it completely will be something he notices and appreciates.
Post # 5
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
It’s SO hard!!! But if you guys are on the same page, it’s totally worth triyng to keep quiet. I’m on the same boat and reading your post made me realize I really need to make more of an effort to keep quiet about it. it’s SO hard since I’m the planner of our relationship and, as an extrovert, I really have a hard time not saying what’s on my mind. You can do it past the weekend just trust that he’s probably thinking about it as much as you are : )
Post # 6
Member
41 posts
Newbee
mexicalijennie: I love that I have a place like this to come to for support and encouragement. And it really helps knowing there are others who are in the same boat.
I’m a huge planner too and sort of a control freak. I like to know what’s going to happen and when. Not knowing when we might get engaged or when we might get married drives me crazy! I just want to know there’s a light at the end of the tunneld. However, I also know that this is probably just one of those life lessons I need to learn. My SO and I have been together for a year, and I have wanted to be engaged for at least 6 months. So I’ve been patient for 6 months now. What’s another 2 or 3? 🙂
I pray that he’s thinking about it as much as me!
Member