(Closed) Need Encouragement to SIU

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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berrynuttyfarm:  Hi There!

Before I became engaged, I would bring up weddings and engagements WAY TOO MUCH (guilty!) Finally, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks that when my partner does propose, would I feel like it’s because I talked about it so much? I didn’t want that feeling at all. And, it as also important that I knew that it was something that my partner wanted 100% and a decision that he came to without me coaxing him so much.

You guys have talked about it and it sounds like you’re on the same page. I would seriously give him the space he needs now to make it happen. After I backed off the talk completely, my partner proposed a couple months later. After he proposed, he told me he noticed that I had backed off the proposal and wedding talk and it was just what he needed to get there on his own terms.

This is not something that you should ever rush, pressure or hound your partner about. He will get there and when he does, you’ll know that the proposal is something that he also wanted 100%.

Post # 3
42 posts
  • Wedding: Tom\'s Country Place

I’m getting ready to back-off at least a little bit myself. However, after expecting her ring for almost 3 months my sorority “little” sister [finally?] was proposed to this past weekend. My SO and I have been together for almost 7 years so I’m thinking it will come at the 7 year mark (beginning of May) or a week later on my college graduation day. Stupid me I told my Dad (who I’m very close with) about my timeline suspicion and he said not to get my hopes up and expect anything since it would ruin that day. I guess I thought it was rude since there’s a nicer way he could have said it, but I learned my lesson—tell the bees instead :).

As far as the ring I’m really trying not to get my hopes up because of an interesting thing he said:   Around Christmas time a Facebook friend was proposed to and her ring was like 4 sizes too small. It barely fit around her first knuckle and could not go over the bend of her finger. I showed my boyfriend and he was like “that’s ridiculous, why didn’t he know her size before he proposed? You should always get the right size…” and I was shocked and impressed to hear that.  Around the same time I gave him the sign-in info to my etsy account so he could view my dream ring (of the 25 or so I favorited) (I want a rose gold morganite ring so they’re easiest to find there) and told him to do with that what he pleased instead of me being nit picky and he gets to ultimately choose. Since its fairly likely that he’d need to order it online he would need to know my size. We have not done any ring shopping (or sizing) and I decided in an effort to stop pushing that he can be the one to suggest we do that. It’s hard since I’m the planner. I wonder if he knows how long it takes for them to make a ring and if he knows about the morganite color properties and how many prongs there can be……you see where I’m going.

Sometimes my anxiety about it gets the best of me and that’s why I decided it’s time to just chill out. He’s done some pretty romantic stuff in the past so I just need to let it go, at least for a while.  Long story short, I feel you. Waiting is hard. So hard sometimes. He definitely loves you and he’ll do it when he’s ultimately ready. Clearly for you it’s gotta be fairly soon! It’s good to know I’m not the only one playing the waiting game. 

Post # 5
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

It’s SO hard!!! But if you guys are on the same page, it’s totally worth triyng to keep quiet. I’m on the same boat and reading your post made me realize I really need to make more of an effort to keep quiet about it. it’s SO hard since I’m the planner of our relationship and, as an extrovert, I really have a hard time not saying what’s on my mind. You can do it past the weekend just trust that he’s probably thinking about it as much as you are : )   

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