(Closed) Need etiquette help!!!!! pleeeeeease

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m kind of of the mind that if people are close enough to you to join you for your home reception the option to attend the Destination Wedding should at least be extended.  I would think only those that are close enough to you would then choose to spend however much time/money to travel to your far away wedding.

That said, you could do something along the lines of “yourfiance’sname and stragewayshere we come are getting married in an intimate ceremony in yourdestination here, but would be delighted if you could join them for an at home celebration of their union/reception (your choice of wording there) on suchandsuchdate at suchandsuchaplace”

Post # 4
Member
14660 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just send invites to an at home reception and call it that, a wedding reception.  I dont think anyone would be offended that they werent invited to a very intimate destination wedding.  My friend did the same, a destination with only closest friends and family, then a bigger recpetion back home.  He refered to them both as his “wedding”, but just that the destination had a ceremony.

Post # 7
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m not sure what etiquette is in this situation but mh.albania had a small wedding and sent out cards afterwards to those who weren’t invited that they wanted to include. I bookmarked the thread because I want to steal her idea and wording for family members that we’re not inviting to our small wedding. It might work for you with small tweaks:

“…We took a photo holding a blank poster board, and then on photoshop we added the words ‘Thinking of you, _________’. One with each person’s name. We then sent these photos as postcards with the words – ‘Even though we couldn’t have everyone present on our special day, we were still thinking of you! Thank you for being part of our lives, and we hope to celebrate with you someday in the future! All our love, Mr. and Mrs…’

If you said “at our stateside reception” instead of “someday in the future” and included the reception info that could be a good way to word things.

Post # 8
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

Or maybe something like, “YOURFI and YOU are getting married in an intimate ceremony at YOURDESTINATION, and would be delighted if you could join them to celebrate upon their return at…”

Post # 9
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@strangewaysherewecome: I totally get small packages, and where you’re coming from, I’m just saying that I think people will self select (but you know your crowd better).  I made wedding invitations for a destination bride, and she had me make 100 for her Maui wedding and at home reception so assuming she sent out all 100 to an average of groups of two, she invited 200 people, and ended up with 21 at the actual event.

Post # 12
Member
14660 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@strangewaysherewecome: My friend made his invitation to look like a boarding pass, which was pretty cute, and there was no mention of the destination wedding ceremony.  Just an regular invitation saying something like join us for a wedding celebration…  Any one that knew them already knew they had a small destination wedding of about 25 people, so I dont think there was a need to mention it with apologies that not everyone could be invited or anything like that.

Post # 13
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m doing the same thing. However there arent many people I didn’t invite to my Destination Wedding, I just pretty much invited everyone understandng that most wouldn’t be able to come anyway. This was before I knew about wedding announcments and other ways to make people feel included even though they can’t come, without actually inviting them. =/

anywhoo…we are having a reception here when we get back and I’m just sending out standard invites but instead of ‘we request your presence at our wedding” I’m giong to just indicate “wedding reception.” nearly everyone knows we are going to be wed in mexico, so I doubt there will be any confusion as to if there will be an actual ceremony or not.

Post # 14
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

@strangewaysherewecome: My friends did the same. They got married in Japan and came back home and had a wedding reception 2 months later. No-one thought it was weird. It was great because by then they had some of their wedding photos printed so we all got to see it.

it was one of the best receptions I have been to.

Post # 15
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I wouldn’t make any reference to the actual wedding ceremony at all.  It’ll confuse people because they aren’t actually invited to that part.  

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