Post # 1
Hey bees, needing some advice on a sensitive subject in my personal life. I’m too afraid the subject of this will find it if I use my regular user name, so I’m using a fake one.
I have never really gotten along with other girls that much, and my closest friends have always been guys. Once I started dating my husband, we were in an LDR when I was in college and he was uncomfortable with me hanging around a bunch of guys all the time. So I tried to make as many girl friends as I could. One of these is a girl I consider to be one of my closest friends now, even though we’re still not as close as I used to be with my guy friends. She’s super sweet, and someone who really wants to be your friend and not just your drinking buddy. And in my circle, that’s hard to come by.
So recently, I tried to put together a group outing with a group of all mine and my husband’s friends. For one reason or another, everyone backed out except for this friend of mine. So it was just me, my husband, and my friend. We ended up having a great time anyways, although I could tell she was starting to get on my hubby’s nerves nearing the end.
I have found out recently that some of the people pulled out because they did not want to have to spend the weekend with this friend of mine. Apparently these friends find her really annoying, and once I expressed this to my husband, he said that she annoyed him all weekend and would never want to do it again.
Now some of my friends want to schedule things and not tell her about it. Several people wanted to go with us really bad, and now want to do the same trip again and not tell her. I had a thing planned for later on this year, and people are asking if she’s going to be there. My husband mentioned that maybe we shouldn’t tell her about it so other people would come.
I’m so torn, because I do consider this girl to be a very close friend. But if my other friends, including my husband, find her annoying and hate being around her…who do I choose? She’s such a super sweet girl, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings if she finds out we are going places and not telling her. But I also want to spend time with my other friends too. What would you do in this situation?
Post # 3
Ouch that is tough. Do they have specific objections to her? Do you find her annoying? Does she have lots of other friends?
If she has lots of other friends then you might want to do things with her and her friends and keep the two groups seperate. (I have to do that alot with my friends.) As to Darling Husband I would lovingly remind him that you aren’t always wild about all his friends either and this is just an unfortunate part of marriage lol. He doesn’t have to put up with her often just sometimes. I would definitely plan some activities with out her for Darling Husband sake, after all he is your top priority. I am just not sure if you should talk to her about it. I don’t know your relationship, her personality, what the issues are, etc. Sometimes a loving friend needs to have frank discussions other times the loving thing to do is keep your mouth shut. Like I said without knowing all the details I can’t guess. Good Luck!