- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
Okay my fiance and I have about 3 months until we say I do. But let me give you a back story first. We both have been married before. My previous marriage lasted 6 months, the guys was super controlling and after he instructed me to quit my job, then asked my parents for $700 a month (what I was giving him to help with bills) after my parents just paid for a $60,000 wedding. My fiances marriage lasted a long time, but they became closer friends than husband and wife.
I have always been a little spoiled… I hate to say it and Iam working on that as I get older. But my parents never made me get a job growing up in high school, and also bought me my first car.
My fiance and I have been dating for almost 6 years. I was employed when we first started dating but got laid off and decided to go back to school. I have now recently graduated but am having a hard time finding work in the medical field. My parents have help with my bills (including paying off my car, and my fiance has bought us food and put a roof over my head – just bought a house a year and a half ago) We got engaged last summer, and decided on a certain wedding spot (which I dont want to post trying to stay off the radar with my fiance). We thought long and hard about a location and even considered doing in casual or even just going to court to get married (since its our second time each). He told me he really wanted me to have a good wedding but we have to budget friendly. We also agreed to split the cost of the wedding in half (not making my parents pay for another one). Thinking a year ago that I would def by now have a job. So… here is what I need help with. He wont help me with my half (even though I have a huge college loan to pay too). We are still splitting this thing down the middle… and although I dont want to back out on my word… our expenses are OURS now. He wants me to borrow from my parents… which is fine they agreed and had a term of when they got paid back. They want to get paid back before he buys a new car. My parents are hurting for money right now too… they both need new cars, and have taken out a home equity loan. Whether I have ajob and can pay them, or after I get a job I take out a loan to pay them back. Which he is thinking in the spring he will get a new car (he drives for work)… well I talked to my fiance about the TERM of my parents loan, and he says no… I really dont think its that bad of a term for the loan from my parents…My fiance says Im going to have to figure out my half (which will be $12,000) and that I should have thought about it and got a job waiting tables while I went to school. Our payment is due in amonth. Im just so stuck between my parents now and him (and my parents do LOVE him). He has told me that he promised himself that he would never take care of another girl… isnt the job of a husband supposed to take care of his wife? I just feel alone in this situation… he knew when he proposed that I was in school and jobless… and that it might take time to find a job in the field that I went to school for. And he told me then when we decided on this kind of wedding.. dont worry we will figure it out together.
And not to mention, his parents havent offered to help AT ALL. His parents are in a way better position than any of us… They have 3 cars, 3 houses… doing great but no help from them.
Help Im confused….