(Closed) Need help! brother engaged 3months after me picked the same wedding day

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

You need to talk with your brother, just the two fo you. Its really messed up, but guess what? You don’t HAVE To go their wedding, especially if they aren’t coming to yours!  And why do your parents feel the need to help with their wedding financially? Doesn’t seem to make sense, its his second wedding, and your first, your the daughter and he’s the son…

Post # 18
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee

Really, it’s not a big deal…. she moved her day so that avoids family clashes, plus they probably aren’t coming to your wedding, as you said, so they probably forgot. Just don’t share a single detail more with either of them – or with any family members can’t keep their mouths shut, just in case they are copying you.

Post # 19
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@MrsSl82be: I agree! I wouldnt go if he isnt coming to hers and as for your parents…they sound like mine. They helped my sis but not me. Sorry:(

Post # 20
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

She moved her day  , as PP said it will be evident that she is copying you . She is obviously a little cray cray so I would tread lightly but def have convo with her or your brother about some of the issues

Post # 21
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

What we know:

-She pushed her day back within 72 hours of being engaged.

-she loves drama

 

Not that I’m wishing for more drama for your brother, but I have a feeling she’s not done.  Continue with your planning.  Watch the roller coaster from afar, but refuse to ride.  I bet she has more crazy changes to come.

Post # 22
Member
7367 posts
Busy Beekeeper

View original reply
@Jeannine @ Small Chic: This.

Do you and don’t worry what they do hear on out. If they were already making excuses about not coming to your wedding, to me thats a blessing. I know you miss your brother but he hasn’t made the effort to see you in 4 years, thats not her fault, its on him.

Post # 23
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d be really, really upset.  I feel like a lot of people have tried to overshadow my big day, but no one has come that close to my date!  Take my advice and the advice another person gave: DO NOT share ANY information regarding your planning with you Future Sister-In-Law.  If someone in your family is a threat to spilling the beans, don’t let them in on the planning either.  Keep everything a secret.  Consider changing your colors without telling her.  Browse around on the Bee for awesome tips to make your wedding memorable and special.  Whatever you do, don’t let your brother and Future Sister-In-Law know what you’re up to.  She obviously is an attention whore.

Post # 25
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Reading this makes me sooo angry!!!  I can’t believe some people!  How does your family feel about this?!  

Post # 26
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

 [statement edited to remove personal attack by Mrs. DG] If you want to get married in 2012, then have it earlier than October! No one is stopping you  from having it in September (or July or August, etc) of 2012 and his sister will still be here. If you rather wait until 2013 to save up more money or whatnot have it then. But you need to stop playing the martyr card.

 

Sorry to be so blunt. You just remind me of my mom and this trait drives me cray-cray.

Post # 27
Member
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

View original reply
@Leeluu: Wow, was that really necessary? No need to be rude. OP was venting. She’s already invested money in her date, she was engaged and planning first, and you’re suggesting she should just change everything for her brother and his fiancee? It’s a sucky situation and certainly not OP’s fault.

Post # 28
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

No, she doesn’t need to change anything at all! She can keep her date if she wants, or change it so that she can keep her fiance’s sister in the wedding. Thats the point! Do what you want, OP! Dont’t let other people get you so down that you go all “I dont even want a wedding” or “Fine, we’ll just push our wedding back, poor me I don’t want to though!”

 

@Galloqay111: You may think its rude, I think of it as tough love. Its what someone should tell her. Because honestly, what will make her happier? People telling her oh poor you, this sucks, or saying hey change your viewpoint and don’t let other people affect your own happiness?

Okay, getting off soapbox now and to sleep!

Post # 29
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

View original reply
@shawndy: wait, so you were going to have this crazy lady in your wedding? Go ahead and have YOUR day when YOU and your Fiance wanted to! She’ll likely change her mind on something else. If you move your date I would put money that so would she. heck, move it back to when she’s deployed hehehehe but I’m evil like that.

Post # 30
Member
7367 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Please don’t move your date and secretly resent you brother Girlfriend later on. If you change, it own it! It won’t be fair to put this on her later like some kinda badge ‘OMG i moved the date just cause of her.  

So many things can happen within a years time, personally I would simply keep my original date. So in a way I kinda agree with

View original reply
@Leeluu: when she says  she doesn’t need to change anything at all! She can keep her date if she wants, or change it so that she can keep her fiance’s sister in the wedding. Thats the point! Do what you want, OP!

Post # 31
Member
3172 posts
Sugar bee

ok first u need to breathe and second go take a nice long bubble bath and then plan ur wedding on the date u want to and make it the best day and most special day of ur life

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