(Closed) need help cutting budget (cash bar tacky?!)

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Cut anything and everything you can first before the bar. That should be the absolutely last thing you consider cutting. Are your parents paying for the wedding? You said they’re ok with the extra cost. Why not let them do this for you, which they clearly want to?

Post # 4
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

It depends largely on your friends and family regarding a cash bar. What is common among your group? For some regions/groups cash bars are common. For others, they wouldnt even think of it and would rather cut the guest list or find a new venue.

Do you have to have the bar through your venue or can you bring in an outside vendor? Outside vendors are often lots cheaper, but not many places let you do that.

Other things to think about are selling your dress after the wedding to recoup some of the cost. Also look into buying and reselling table clothes instead of renting. (but then you have to work with your caterer to have them use them) if they are not part of the package alread.

I personally think you can forgo favors completely or donate $1-$3 per person to a pet charity instead.

Post # 5
Member
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I personally expect free drinks when I go to a wedding, and I’m annoyed if I have to pay for them. Doesn’t have to be a full bar of free drinks, but at least beer and wine provided.

But cash bar is better than no alcohol. (I know you didn’t mention going that route.)

Post # 6
Member
1519 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I want free drinks at a wedding, no lie. BUT can you put a limit on the drinks? Will they allow you to buy so many bottles of wine/kegs and when it runs out it turns to cash bar? At least there would be something for your guests but you would be able to limit the cost.

Post # 7
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Cut the decor.  Cut the flowers.  Change the menu.  Cut whatever you need to cut.  Don’t make your guests pay for their drinks.  Most people would not be happy paying for drinks at a wedding.  I know I wouldn’t.

 

Post # 8
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@redheadem:  Agree 100%.  Cut the flowers.  Get rid of favors.  Cut any special pricey transportation if you have it.  You don’t need that extra appetizer.  Cut anything else you can before cutting the host bar.  Beer and wine is perfectly fine, so I would cut everything I could to make that work.  

I cannot tell you what any of the flowers looked like at the 18 weddings I’ve been to in the last 5 years, nor can I tell you what the favors were (which shows how many I still have).  I have no idea what the bride and groom took off in as their getaway car.  But I do remember one wedding 9 years ago that was a cash bar. 

Post # 9
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

To me, part of being a good hostess is providing drinks, and if your guests drink alcohol then this means you pay for their alcohol. If you really have to save money on the drinks, I would go with beer and wine. I know you said it isn’t much cheaper, but at least you would be saving some money. 

Post # 10
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

@Jamersss:  If everyone expects it, I would provide it since it seems your parents are OK with it. Otherwise, people will be dissapointed at best and gossipy and annoyed at worst.

Post # 12
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i have never been to a wedding where all the drinks are free.

most weddings i have been to were alcohol free or cash bar. the closest to free drinks i have seen was my brothers and there were two certain wines that were free and everything else cost money.

Post # 13
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m having a cash bar… it’s not tacky- I’d rather have the option of buying drinks at a wedding than being at a dry wedding…

My reception is going to be a lot like a night at the bar though and I’m very lucky my normal circle of friends and guests don’t feel entitled to everything. If anyone did have anything to say they shouldn’t be there in the first place, they are supposed to be there to support you and your marriage not criticize your event.

Post # 14
Member
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Maybe it’s just me but I think it’s ridiculous that you should have to cut flowers, decor and food out to offer your guests an open bar. Favours, okay get rid of those cause most people probably don’t care. I would never offer a crappy meal and plain tables with tiny centre pieces just so I could have an open bar…thats crazy. Personally I think I would notice the cut down menu and lack of decor more than the cash bar.

I would never expect free drinks at a wedding, especially when I know how much money the couple are already spending on the venue and the meal. Just like I would never expect someone to get e drunk for free if they invited to thier house for dinner, I don’t expect free drinks at a wedding. I know where I live an open bar is expected, but ‘m not getting married here…if I was I would still have a cash bar.

Post # 15
Member
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@HappilyEverAfter54:  

My reception is going to be a lot like a night at the bar though and I’m very lucky my normal circle of friends and guests don’t feel entitled to everything. If anyone did have anything to say they shouldn’t be there in the first place, they are supposed to be there to support you and your marriage not criticize your event.

This! I agree with this so much!

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