(Closed) Need help dealing with imminent break-up

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

*hug hug hug* First off, i’m so sorry you’re going through this. 

What would your advice be to a women telling you this story?

I think you know what you need to do, it’s going to be hard and you’re going to hurt.

 But you have to remember that you’re worth so much more.

You deserve the moon and the stars… not a life spent wondering about him, who he’s talking to and so forth. 

He says he loves you, but talk is cheap.  Actions always speak louder than words… and his actions are showing you who he really is.

*hug hug*

 

Post # 4
Member
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

He loves you but not enough to tell you if your relationship has a future? That doesn’t sound very loving to me. If you really want to save the relationship I’d suggest counseling, but honestly if you’re in school you’re still young and I think you deserve more than what  he’s giving you. You deserve more than a man who feels like you’ve ruined his youth by tying him down. You don’t want to go through all of the hurt and work that repairing his breach of trust will entail only to have him resent you and leave you when he wants to go back to partying. I think you’re worth more and better than what he can offer.

Post # 5
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Eckle:  +1 well said!

Post # 6
Member
8116 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

It seems to me that you are handing him a lot of power over your future happiness by asking him if you’re going to break up.

I think you should take your power back and realize that either way, you will be fine.  You’re so focused on what HE is going to do, I can’t really get a sense of what you really want other than for this guy to be someone he isn’t.

Maybe it’s time to put more energy  into what YOU want and regain some control back over your own life.

Post # 7
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Hun, you don’t want to be in this relationship…. Trust me, I’ve been there. It ended up with me leaving after 7.5 years.  Don’t waste your time on someone like that. You deserve better.

Post # 8
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

don’t spend time on the person, who doesn’t want to spend time with you. and obviously he doesn’t 🙁

my favorite saying from somewhere “life is too short to spend it on relationship what goes nowhere” and i know deep in your heart you know it.

I also now, you probably think about all this time and energy you invested in this relationship, of course you don’t wanna lose it. But just think that all these energy you could spend on yourself and making youe life only better.

Sorry to hear it and best of luck!

Post # 9
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Eckle:  +1. Do you really want to be walking around with a dark cloud over your head wondering, “is he really happy?” or “is he going to break up with me today?” It would be exhausting! Be with a man who wants to be with you! Not someone who internally resenting you. In the end, you’re doing neither of you a favor by staying in this relationship if it stays on its current course. 

ETA: you may want to ease up on the snooping of his phone. I don’t see that playing out well in a future conversation.

Post # 10
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’ve been there too… and I finally broke it off after 3.5 years. It was the best thing I ever did as I am now with an amazing man who will be a wonderful husband and provider. 

It feels like you could never break up with them but believe me when I say there is another guy out there for you, and one in which you won’t be feeling so horrible like this with. That horrible upset stomach 24/7? Yeah, not worth it.  

Post # 11
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Shamoon:  Aww, man this is tough 🙁  How old is he if you don’t mind me asking?  I think this sounds like a pretty common scenario in younger people.

I guess the bottom line is that he is obviously not committed to the relationship like you are.  The longer he drags this out, the more painful it will be.  He should have been man enough to discuss these feelings with you in person.  As difficult as it will be to do, I would cut my losses and start to try and move on, pronto.  I know it’s weird to just up and do that…and you will grieve, but as the days tick by you’ll feel better.  Hugs!

Post # 12
Member
3429 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Shamoon:  Please listen to everyone’s posts and love yourself enough to realize you are a prize any man should be Lucky enough to have! Dump Mr Wrong and don’t look back! Finish school and have fun! Mr right will find you! believe that!!

Post # 13
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It honestly sounds like a high school relationship.

He may love you, but in a couple years he’ll resent you for not letting him ‘live’ 

I was like him until I met my Fiance, I loved my ex but I wasn’t ready to give up attention from hot guys.

I grew up, now he’ll just have to grow up.

He doesn’t sound right for you

Post # 14
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree.. you can do better. You can be happy. You can be with someone that you won’t doubt.

It will be okay. YOU will be okay. 

Post # 15
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t have much advice, but I just want to tell you that no matter how hard you think it’s going to be to walk away, you really do deserve something better. Not someone who is always going to have one foot out the door. You didn’t ruin him, that is his own problem. Please please don’t sell yourself short, there is someone really special waiting for you and I don’t think it’s this guy. I’ve got faith in you!

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