(Closed) Need help deciding on officiant!

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Which officiant should we choose?
    A) The friend who lives in town : (4 votes)
    50 %
    B) The pastor who lives out of town : (4 votes)
    50 %
  • Post # 3
    3866 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Flip a coin or roll the dice?

    I’m not sure who I would suggest.  Maybe with whoever you feel most comfortable with doing the wedding?  

    Post # 4
    3081 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    If he’s a close friend and it would mean something special to you and your Fiance to have him marry you, then go with him! If not, I’d say the out of town pastor. Sounds like you have two excellent options though.

    Post # 6
    14661 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If its semi formal and quick, I’d go with the friend.  That is exactly what we are doing, I’m just having a quick little garden cermoney and we decided to have FI’s aunt do the ceremony!  1.  Its cheaper.  2.  It’s more personal!  How awesome is it, his aunt is marrying us, not just some random stranger.  She’s only done 1 wedding also, last month for FI’s sister, but I think she did great!  If you know the friend is a good speaker, and would not be too quiet or shy or boring in front of a crowd, I think that enough to do a quick informal cermony.

    Post # 8
    5885 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Since the friend isn’t really close, I think it would be weird to have him officiate. I would use the pastor even if it cost you a little more.

    Post # 9
    373 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I had a similar situation where my FI’s coworker could do for free but he was young and not as serious as I hoped (he also had done only 1 wedding), then I met someone more mature with more background on weddings and chose this person. I think I would go with the pastor cause the ceremony would probably have more context, as the guy has done a ton of weddings. Someone who just did one wold make me nervous.

    Post # 10
    1498 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    If you have confidence in your friend and you feel comforatble writing your own ceremony (we did ours with the help of the internet and the book The Wedding Ceremony Planner), I would say go with him.  There are lots of girls on weddingbee who wrote their own ceremony, it helped a lot to read through their posts and it was really nice to write our own ceremony start to finish.


    Post # 11
    1036 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I was jumping in to post almost the same exact sentiment as mcnetn3.  If you are comfortable writing your own ceremony, I would go with the friend.  This way you won’t have to worry about his experiene, as he is basically reading a script, and it is personal becasue you wrote it.  Although, if the pastor will let you contribute to the ceremony, or write it yourself, then really either choice would give that same result.

    If you aren’t wanting to write your own ceremony, I would go with the pastor.  Since the friend isn’t a close friend and there is no emotional tie there.

    Post # 12
    255 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    If you are not doing anything complicated then you don’t really have to have the officiate at your rehearsal.  Everyone else needs to go through the steps of where they need to be, but he already knows as he just has one place to stand! 🙂

    That said, go with whatever you are most comfortable with.  It can be incredibly touching to have a friend perform your ceremony, while a professional will provide you with more structure.

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