Post # 1
(as you can see I’m embarrassed so have created another profile for this question!)
We got married last year, and both of us were virgins. I had had some experience before (i.e. not full sex!) and had had orgasms but only through oral or “manual” stimulation!
So now here we are, having the much awaited intercourse… and i just don’t enjoy it… its a bit painful in the beginning (even know that we’ve been doing it for a few months) and I dont know how to enjoy it. It’s just uncomfortable.
Has anyone had the same problem and somehow overcome it??? I reeeeeally want to enjoy it and want to reach orgasm during it (not afterwards as it is now!)… But I don’t even know where to start 🙁 Any ideas please????
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2011 - The Providence Biltmore
You are not alone. It takes a long time to explore and figure out what satisfies you. A small percentage of women orgasm from penetration alone. Keep at it, you’ll find your rythm.
Post # 4
First, a lot of women I know never orgasm during intercourse. It may never happen for you. I know that sounds terrible, but I’m sure that lots of girls on here will agree with me.
Secondly, if you can actually orgasm during intercourse, you may just not be wet enough. I would suggest trying some lubrication. A good friend of ours just started using the KY hers and mine and says that it’s the first time she’s been
Post # 5
I have never orgasmed during sex, I have never had a guy give me an orgasm, I am the only one that can 🙁 Me and my SO have worked it out and we just get my business done before or after he finishes, I have come close a couple times but still haven’t had it happen fully yet. I still have hope though lol. As far as it hurting I would say talk with your OBGYN, just to make sure there are no health issues as to why it hurts, and like a PP make sure you are wet enough and don’t be affraid to use lube. Is it only certain positions that hurt? If so try different positions and see how that feels. Good luck, it will work out, you just need to figure out what works for you guys.
Post # 6
I have never had an orgasm from only penetration. Some women just don’t. I do enojoy intercourse but enjoy it even more when one of us, eh hem, does some manual stimulation. That is the only way I have ever had one during sex. You’re not alone sister!
Post # 8
Post # 9
If intercourse is painful, you need to make friends with a bottle of lube – personally, I prefer Astroglide. As for not orgasming – a lot of women cannot orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. You indicate that you’ve had an orgasm from manual and oral stimulation, so you know it can happen. You should experiment with positions that allow for better clitoral stimulation. For me, it works well to have my husband do a swirling sort of motion when he’s fully inside me, so his pelvis rubs my clitoris, rather than an in-and-out pumping sort of thing. I’m also a fan of using my vibrator during sex – there are plenty of positions that make this possible. He can also feel the vibrations, so both of us benefit 🙂
Post # 10
I second the lube! I don’t orgasm from penetration. Never have and probably never will! I do things in combo…so have him touch you, use a vibrator, etc. That should do the trick.
Post # 11
@redherring: I second the vibrator/lube.
It’s normal (imo) for women to not orgasm from penetration alone. You might have to step out of your comfort zone to try some new things but hey – they may work! Don’t beat yourself up over it and be honest with him about what feels good/what doesn’t. You have to learn your partner’s needs and they have to learn yours. It can take a while, but you can figure it out.
Post # 12
Sometimes it just takes time to make things work. You’re trying to connect two different bodies with very little experience. It takes time and patience to make it truly enjoyable – I think it took my Darling Husband and I close to 5 months to really enjoy and not worry about sex. At this point, you’re starting to dread it, which makes it even worse. Don’t worry about what it’s going to feel like, and don’t go into it with a ton of expectations.
Try playing more beforehand – foreplay does wonders! Don’t be afraid to try using lube or other toys. And don’t be afraid to try new positions (some are very uncomfortable for some, while perfect for others), and keep at it. Eventually, you’ll find a method that works best for you.
Post # 13
Umm.. am thinking maybe he penetrates before you’re fully ready? Lube will help with that, but if you’re not really aroused it just won’t feel as good. So taking more time with foreplay should help as well; as much time as you need so that penetration feels good, not just not uncomfortable. Also, there is such a thing as a G-spot, and it’s well worth finding!
Post # 14
I wasn’t a virgin before I got married but I do remember my first time and I remember thinking “that’s it” after. I didn’t find it enjoyable and found it to be more uncomfortable. Take your time and take things slow. You don’t know your body yet so neither does he. A lot of foreplay and experimenting and eventually you should feel much more comfortable and find sex enjoyable.
Post # 15
Agree with PPs…make sure you’re completely ready before penetration, whether that’s accomplished with lube or extended foreplay, or both. Most women I know can’t get off from just penetration alone, they (myself included) need additional clitoral stimulation during sex. (Sometimes he does it, sometimes I do…really depends on the position and who has better access.)
Post # 16
I second the Astroglide. Oh baby.