(Closed) Need help getting over competitiveness

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1877 posts
Buzzing bee

@friendhelp:  As hard as it will be and as frustrated as you might feel, try not to let jealousy take over.  There is a reason they call jealousy the greeneyed monster- it truly is a monster and will ruin your outlook on life and your relationships.  Maybe if you told her how you feel it would help.  Admit that as proud as you are of her achievements, her success makes you feel a little defeated.  Maybe getting those words out in the open will help humble you, give you perspective, and keep this from eating you alive inside.  Good luck!!! 

Post # 6
5 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think a lot of women have felt like this at some point, I know I certainly have and I have also faced behaviour from people who are trying to compete with me.


I totally 100 million % understand why you feel so down about this situation. Something you are passionate in and have been trying to hard at, and then someone else comes along and within a year is getting awards in it. It isn’t fair!

At the same time though, it isn’t her fault and it sounds like you know this. I would say that you should write her a letter explaining to her how your feeling (and also say that you know it isnt her fault but you cant help these feelings). If she is a good friend, she will understand your point of view and negative feelings. Then I would maybe detach from her for a while, and figure out your feelings. If you just don’t say anything and keep trying to act normal, your competitiveness will only come out in your actions and then that will damage the friendship more than being honest.

I really feel for you, please don’t beat yourself up too much! Lots of people never have the balls to pursue their passions, but you do!!

Post # 7
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@friendhelp:  I think its natural to be a little jealous with friends. I have a best friend who in every sense to me is successful and beautiful – has a great career, wonderful husband and now she’s pregnant, too. I envy all of that that… but I’m also really happy for her. We had a heart to heart several years ago after a falling out… it turns out that she was jealous about several things that she feels I had that she didn’t….

I think its easy to get jealous about someone else’s successes and not realise your own. The grass is greener on the other side….She may very well be jealous of your successes and achievements.You can change this into a positive and strive to work better. OR you can let this negative affect your creativity.


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