Post # 1
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
I have a friend who I have known for a while. She sometimes has weird episodes of just disappearing for a while. She has recently done that again. She was MIA for 2 months until this Sunday when we posted on FB we were engaged. I had tried to reach out to her in those months but she never responded so after a few weeks I gave up assuming she just wasnt interested in being friends anymore so I gave up. She messaged me today too and I responded. She was apologizing about being MIA and said a lot was going on in her life etc etc and wanted to catch up. Umm… WHAT?! If we’re so close why cant you at least give me a heads up that you need space/support/etc…?
Originally I had thought she might be a bridesmaid but after this recent episode, I dunno. We had talked about it before I was engaged and I’m sure she’s expecting it but I’m scared she will disappear again and I will be screwed. I know I don’t have to decide on this quite yet but what would you ladies do?
Post # 3
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
Let me tell you from personal experience-Don’t ask flakey friends to be in your wedding party. It adds so much unnecessary stress!! It’s just not worth it!
Post # 4
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
@Pinknyy: I would not ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Invite her of course but that’s as far as I would go.
Post # 5
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
edit: I can’t freaking read.. I’d play it by ear but I probably wouldn’t have her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man
Post # 6
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
@Woodstock: I tried to contact her and no answer and after a half dozen attempts I just gave up… And it was 2 months.
Post # 7
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
I’m extra annoyed bc she is basically wanting things to be exactly the same again super quickly and I just do NOT need the stress right now!
Post # 8
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
@Brideonabudgetlauren: 100% COSIGN.
OP, I would take her interest with a grain of salt as she appears to be just like one of my friends who is only close when it’s convenient for her. It’s rather insulting and I am pretty sure I am not going to bother attempting a relationship with her now that she has backed out of the wedding at the last minute.
Post # 9
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Hang out if you want now that she is around but I’d be weary about making her a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Since you talked about it before she flaked, it seems like she has quite the timely entrance back into your life.
Post # 10
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
sigh you guys are right… it feels so fake. I want people with me who will be with me 100% not when they remember to be…
Post # 11
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
Personally I would not ask her. It couldn’t have hurt to at least message you to say “I need some space for a while, so I’ll be MIA” instead of just disappearing without a word. She sounds too flaky – ask someone you can trust!
Post # 12
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
I wouldn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid but I would just accept her apologies for being MIA now that she’s back – but take it with a grain of salt and don’t go blindly trusting, i.e. making her a bridesmaid.
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