Post # 16
I think you have done all you could and more than she , or you enabling family deserves . Sounds like she, and perhaps them too are freaking out pre-wedding generally and somehow would like to make it your fault. Threatening to cancel her own wedding is beyond silly – talk about nose/face !!
Just react calmly and flatly to any more shenanigens, you know the formulae ” sorry about that” , “so sorry you feel that way” ‘hope you don’t mean that about cancellling , poor yourFI” or repeat the eminently sensible and sensitive thing you already said, minus the “call me and we can talk” part . Nothing to really talk about OP, is there?.
And you are quite right not to even mention it to your Future Mother-In-Law who has done nothing but good stuff. Try and put it out of your mind and have a lovely time .
Post # 17
Have you explained to her that your Mother-In-Law chose that time frame to ensure that your sister could attend?
Post # 18
Your sister being upset is frustrating I’m sure, but at this point I wouldn’t try to apologize or coddle her any more. This is something your future in laws want to do for you. Was she expecting you not to have any shower at all just because she didn’t want one? If she keeps whining and complaining, just refuse to discuss it any more.
I personally would not have picked my wedding day for a month after my sister, but what’s done is done. You don’t necessarily owe her anything but you can probably understand why some people may be upset at 2 weddings so close. You’ve already offered the olive branch. You just need to try to let it go at this point.