Post # 1
Hiya! I live am american and my fiance is irish and we are getting married in his hometown which is close to Dublin. My question is this: apparently, tradition over there has what they call an “afters” invitation for acquaintances that are invited to the reception but after dinner has been served and all of our closest friends and family have eaten. It’s not at all rude and it’s basically an invite to send out to those who may want to share in the fun. I am in the process of ordering our invitations but I don’t know how to word the actual afters invite. Does anyone know what it should say?? Please help!
Post # 3
no idea, but expect for some americans to be a little peeved about this. if they don’t know the tradition and they fly all the way to ireland for the wedding, they might get cranky that they aren’t invited to the dinner. i assume, however, that this is for the locals only?
Post # 4
If they fly all the way over to Ireland for you the least you can do is feed them.
Post # 5
My second cousin did something like this — she invited everyone to the ceremony & non-dinner portion of the reception, but only close family to the dinner. I can’t remember how she phrased it but when I was considering it I came up with “[names] are getting married! You are invited to celebrate with the couple at [location, date, time]” and “The joy (or honour, etc.). of your presence is requested at a celebration of the marriage of [names] on the [date] at [time] at the [location]”. I would also suggest providing these guests with some sort of snack and/or dessert (perhaps plan to serve them wedding cake and a midnight-snack sort of thing, as well as alcohol if it’s being poured out to the other guests — of course, if you’re having a cash bar, they’d pay for their own drinks). I would signal this by putting a line on the invite saying “light snacks, dessert, and drinks (if open bar) will be provided” or “Cash bar. Light snacks & dessert will be provided.”
Make sure to give yourself plenty of time to finish up dinner before the extra guests are invited, but also plan to start things like first dance, etc. AFTER they get there. (So, if your dinner starts at 5:00, project it to end around 7:00-8:00, send out the invites for 8:00-8:30, and plan to do your first dance around 8:30-9:00.)
Post # 6
I live in the UK and it is pretty common to have evening guests in addition to the wedding breakfast guests. I’m not personally doing that as I’m only going to invite people I’m close to and want to spend the whole day with.
To give you all some background on how they do things over here, in the UK (and I assume Ireland) the latest time a wedding ceremony can take place legally is 5pm and most weddings take place around 1-3pm. The main meal which is served after the ceremony is called the wedding breakfast and this is usually finished around 7-8pm which is when the party starts. Some couples, especially with large groups of friends, will invite colleagues or not-so-close friends to the evening party only. Like previous posters said, if you’re having guests who travel you need to invite them to the whole day as you can’t expect anyone to travel for an evening reception only.
But back to your question, just keep it simple and point out that the invitation is for the evening receptions:
Mr and Mrs Someone
request the pleasure of
your company at an evening reception
to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
Mr Adam Adams
at The Grand Hotel,
on Saturday 18th November, 2011