Post # 1
I have been working as a nanny for a family with one baby (born in September, I started when she was 3 weeks old). I have realized that my boss misrepresented the family situation and that our child-rearing methods are vastly different.
First, she’s home almost all the time that I am there and hovering over us. She wakes the baby to say "hello". When I confronted her about this practice, she said, "I am going to say hello to her when I am here whenever I want."
Second, she restricts the baby’s sleep time. Problem all on it’s own.
Thirdly, she said that she’d be working. I have nannied for families that work from home but the situation was different. Those parents worked in their separate office all day. She is in and out, disruptive, eavesdropping, and expects me to walk their dog and baby twice a day (and accuses me of lying about doing it).
It sounds like an open and shut easy thing to walk away from. Well, I have to give one month’s notice and I don’t want to make that month more awkward than it already will be. She is very emotional and I feel like this will turn ugly regardless. I just don’t know what to do- other than make up a lie about why I need to quit. Which is so PANSY. I HAVE to do it- I dread work all the time and I am sad about the whole situation.
Have any of you dealt with something like this? I really need advice and I will keep an eye on this thread to answer any possible questions.
Post # 3
I’m sorry you are going through this! It sounds horrible, and like a bad situation to begin with. Kudos to you for recognizing that, and preparing to move on.
You are not obligated to give her a reason that you are leaving. You can just say that your situation is changing, and that due to those changes you need to leave your job.
Be firm and polite, but don’t give up ground. You can say "personal issues" or whatever other vague dispensation you can think of, but don’t get into the details of "you do this and that" or lie. She’ll only be more sucked in if you do.
Try to keep it as professional as you can, even if she doesn’t… and hopefully you are looking for a new job during the month you have before you leave.
Hope this helps.
Post # 4
Thank you! I feel like I owe them some kind of explanation- which I totally don’t. Thanks for pointing that out. The simpler the better, I just stress out and over-think it! My fiance is sick of hearing about it, poor dude.
Post # 5
I agree with doctorgirl. With your description, I’m afraid that the situation will be somewhat uncomfortable/difficult anyway. Good luck!
Post # 6
Do you have to give four weeks notice? It’s customary and considerate to give notice, but you are rarely legally required to do so. If the mother is truly hovering over you, then it sounds like she would be able to take care of the baby herself during any interim period.
Post # 7
I could give her the option of having me work until she found someone else. Good point, Mr Bee!
Post # 8
I’m not so sure about telling her you’ll work until she finds someone. She might drag her feet on looking for a replacement.
Normally, I can see why nannies give four weeks (as opposed to two with office jobs, etc.) If the nanny situation falls through, the parents need to be able to find someone, so they don’t have to take time off work. However, in your case it sounds like mom can pretty much handle it.
If you’d like to give four weeks, that is kind. Try to give her the least amount of reason as you can. IF she tells you to pack up that day, fine. It’s easier on you anyway. If she wants you for the full month, but acts like a jerk, bring it to her attention or just leave. You are already leaving. Giving her four weeks is a courtesy to HER. If she is going to blow it, by biting the hand that feeds her, that’s her problem.
Good luck. I’vehad a couple of crumby bosses. It will feel really good to leave.
Post # 9
Thanks Tanya! You are right- I think it’s best to give the month and just count down the days until it is over. Now I have to decide if I give my notice before I have another job and just plan on getting one in that month’s time of wait until I have a job for sure. TOO HARD!