(Closed) Need help starting the "I'm ready for marriage" conversation!

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

Do what I do: just blurt it out after sitting on it for to long and you’re unable to hold it back any longer :-).

Or be more subtle: you can just ask him what his dreams and goals are/how he sees the future. Best to ask this maybe over a romantic dinner or when snuggling on the couch. Maybe he will say ‘getting maried, have a few kids’ immediatly. Otherwise steer the conversation towards that topic.

Post # 4
Member
3211 posts
Sugar bee

Here’s what I said, “Please let me know if this is going anywhere because I am in the prime age of my life for other offers and I don’t need you to waste my time.”

Yeah, I’m not so good with being subtle.

Post # 5
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

My main tactic was to joke about it and what our future wedding would look like it, or talk about it when drunk.  Maybe not the best strategy…  But it worked, I guess…

Post # 6
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

It just came naturally for us, but I’m a big fan of straightforwardness. Why not just say, “So, what do you think about us getting engaged/married in the near future?”

Post # 7
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

How about like they say it in the movies.. “Where do you see this [our relationship] going?”… Or ask him “where do you see us in 5 years?”

If he say’s “In 5 years, i see us married”, that means he sees a solid future with you too! 

Post # 8
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

don’t be subtle, just ask him if he sees you in his life, as a wife someday and if yes, when that someday might be.

Post # 9
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

The first time we discussed marriage, it took me a few minutes to fully articulate myself, because emotional vulnerability makes me ridiculously uncomfortable. However, I am about as subtle as a sledgehammer (as my guy lovingly puts it) so he guessed the topic of conversation pretty quickly. He wouldn’t help me though, just stood there smirking and waiting for me to  actually say the words. Eventually I blurted something to the effect of, “What do you think about us getting married?” 

There was no finesse, no perfect timing…and I have no regrets. The conversation sparked by my graceless question didn’t require interpretation, and left me absolutely certain of our future.

Don’t agonize over how to bring it up. Just do it. Be clear and direct; there’s no reason having a rational discussion should make him feel pressured.  

Post # 10
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2012

For me there was never a big moment. We talked about kids and future and marraige just as a topic of conversation even before we were very serious. I think the future is something a couple should be comfortable talking about. If he did pop the question, how would you even know the answer if you don’t know what his plans are for the next 5 years or where he wants to raise his children?

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