Post # 1
One of my best friends lives 1300 miles away from me in FL. (I live in CT)
She is having financial issues since her husband recently lost his job. They are struggling with the average bills, let alone extras.
Today she called to say that she probably wont be able to make it to the wedding, and therefore probably cannot be a bridesmaid..
I am disappointed but I want to show her that I understand financial struggles and that the flight alone, let alone a hotel, rental car or the bridesmaid dress, is a big deal. We had formatted a plan for her to stay in our apartment the 2 days prior and the night of our wedding, which would have saved on hotel costs, but not enough to afford it. It’s okay, it really is, and I don’t want her to feel bad that she can’t make it up here.
My fiance and I are budgeting on a very very limited budget, and have no extra money to put towards getting her here, unfortunately.
Any ideas on what to say, or how to show her that I am not upset and I am glad that she tried to make the effort?
Post # 3
Maybe send her a handwritten note saying you understand, if you were able to help, you would have in a heartbeat, thank you for trying to make it work etc…basically what you have written here to us. Let her know you’ll be thinking of her on the wedding day. Plan some skype sessions to catch up with her (and not just on wedding related stuff). I’m sure she’d appreciate it. Since you seem to be so understanding, I’m sure she already knows you don’t hold it against her.
Post # 4
I would just be honest, that you really want her there, but you understand and hope that after the wedding y’all can go visit her or once things look up for the,, they can come out. If nothing else, you could go to her for a day or two after the wedding to just hang out. Let her know that the relationship is the most important thing, and that even after the day you want her in your life.
Post # 5
I think if it were me I wouldn’t want to be left out of the process (meaning, include her on updates, ex: I found my dress! We chose a cake! We found a florist!) You might want to ask if it’s still okay to keep her in the long distance loop like that, so she knows why.
If you wanted to make a gesture, I guess for me it depends on how hard up the two of them are. Is it we can’t afford a vacation and the expenses of being part of a wedding, or we don’t know if we can pay rent and groceries aren’t even an option?
If it’s the former, I think just offering to keep her included would be enough. If it’s the latter, mailing a gift card to a local grocery store, paying a month on a cell phone bill, or sending a gift card to a local gas station are things that are a relief.