(Closed) Need help to write to a girl who cannot afford to be bridesmaid

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Maybe send her a handwritten note saying you understand, if you were able to help, you would have in a heartbeat, thank you for trying to make it work etc…basically what you have written here to us.   Let her know you’ll be thinking of her on the wedding day.  Plan some skype sessions to catch up with her (and not just on wedding related stuff).  I’m sure she’d appreciate it.  Since you seem to be so understanding, I’m sure she already knows you don’t hold it against her.  

Post # 4
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would just be honest, that you really want her there, but you understand and hope that after the wedding y’all can go visit her or once things look up for the,, they can come out. If nothing else, you could go to her for a day or two after the wedding to just hang out. Let her know that the relationship is the most important thing, and that even after the day you want her in your life.

Post # 5
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think if it were me I wouldn’t want to be left out of the process (meaning, include her on updates, ex: I found my dress! We chose a cake! We found a florist!) You might want to ask if it’s still okay to keep her in the long distance loop like that, so she knows why.

If you wanted to make a gesture, I guess for me it depends on how hard up the two of them are. Is it we can’t afford a vacation and the expenses of being part of a wedding, or we don’t know if we can pay rent and groceries aren’t even an option?

If it’s the former, I think just offering to keep her included would be enough. If it’s the latter, mailing a gift card to a local grocery store, paying a month on a cell phone bill, or sending a gift card to a local gas station are things that are a relief.

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