(Closed) Need help with seating ettitquette

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I understand your reservations about seating her with her fiance’s late wife’s family, but she will be family, and I would have to agree that it would be best to seat her with the family. Have you discussed this with the Groom’s Father? I think I would defer to his opinion and if people dislike/like the decision then the credit goes to him.

Post # 4
374 posts
Helper bee

How about this idea?  Aunts in the first row and the finacee in the second row.

His dad is standing up throughout the entire ceremony anyway, so I think it is proper not to have her in the first pew.  If he was sitting down, then she’d have to accompany him and sit beside him.

Now, how about a corsage?  You didn’t mention this dilemma. I would say not to give her one.

How about having a small altar arrangement be in her memory and have the officiant say, “We remember Fiancee’s mother, her name, today” and whatever officiants do in this situation.  You’re not the first person to do this and I’m sure there is protocol and the officiant will know how to mention his mom tactfully.  That would be appropriate and there would be no misconseption about the new financee taking her role that day.

Post # 5
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

What does your Fiance think about it?  I’d follow his lead, whatever he wanted to do would be fine with me.  In addition, I think I’d ask (or have my Fiance ask) what the family thinks is appropriate.  If it would offend them to have her in the front, I’d want her in the 2nd row.  I imagine it may be awkward for her, but honestly, this is your wedding and that’s your FI’s family so she has to at least respect it, if not totally understand.

Post # 6
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think she should definitely be considered “family” but if it is awkward to seat her with the rest of your family guests, then I think it would be appropriate to seat her in the next immediate row.  This woman will be your FI’s stepmother and your step-MIL so it would be best to indicate her as family.  Frankly, I would treat the situation as though she is already married to FI’s father, since they are engaged and she isn’t just a girlfriend. 

Post # 7
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you should seat her with the family.  She is going to marry your Future Father-In-Law, she is family.  It’s sad that his first wife passed away, but try to put your self in her situation.  How would you feel if you were not allowed to sit with the family just b/c your Fiance was a widow?  It’s not as if there has been a nasty divorce, his dad has a right to re-marry if he chooses & his future wife should get the same respect as his first.

Post # 8
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’d ask your Fiance for his opinion, but in this case I’d agree with some of the posters and treat the fiance as family. 

She’ll be a part of the family soon enough, and shouldn’t the aunts/grandmother be happy for your Future Father-In-Law that he’s found someone he loves and want to make her feel welcome? 

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