- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Wedding is now three months from today and my fiance and I are so excited. The problem is, his family doesn’t seem to share our enthusiasm, and it’s making me quite upset.
When we first started dating, my fiance’s younger brother was engaged to be married, and it seemed the dinner conversation at his parents’ house was always dominated by talk of their wedding plans. It didn’t bother me much at the time; I would have liked to have had the opportunity to get to know them a bit better, but I understood it was an exciting time and that their thoughts were consumed by the wedding, so I just figured I should be happy to be involved with someone whose parents were so interested with their son’s wedding.
Fast forward to now. My fiance’s brother and wife were married last May, and announced they were expecting right after we announced our engagement… the same week of our engagement party. Immediately the attention was away from us and back to them. Our engagement became an afterthought.
Now the baby arrived a few weeks ago, and she is lovely. Still, anytime the wedding comes up, my FIL’s change the subject and focus on the fact that they’re grandparents now. It hurts my fiance and me so much that these people, who were so focused on their son’s wedding this time last year, couldn’t care less about ours.
There won’t be any children at all at our wedding and we are having a fairly small guest list (about 75 people). My fiance’s parents will be paying for our rehearsal dinner, and my sister-in-law to be mentioned she needed to get an outfit for her baby for the rehearsal dinner. My fiance brought this up to his mother a few days later and said he wasn’t expecting her to be at the rehearsal dinner, as we would like to rehearse the ceremony, and have a nice dinner with toasts and adults. We are forever sharing the spotlight with them and pushed to the side; is it so much to ask that this night and our wedding day just be about us? His mother said since they are paying for the rehearsal dinner, the baby should be allowed to come, as they want her there.
Fiance’s family is from Australia and will be coming for the wedding, so they will not meet the baby until then. I just know it will be a big fuss-fest over her all night instead of focusing on the occasion. I am happy for them and understand my fiance’s family finds a baby much more important than a wedding, but are we wrong for not wanting her at our rehearsal dinner, and for feeling slighted?
Sorry for the long post, but am looking forward to hearing what you all think.