Post # 1
The dilemma I’m having is how to incorporate FI’s 13 yo half brother into the wedding. I definitely want him to be a part of it, but I’m having a hard time figuring out the best way.
FI and I have a toddler, and last year when FI’s full brother got married our son was the ring bearer and FI’s half brother escorted him down the aisle since our son was too young to walk alone. However, when we get married next year, our son will be the ring bearer and he will be old enough to walk by himself, plus I would prefer him to walk by himself because I want to make him a special part of the day as well.
FI’s full brother is the best man, so that doesn’t work. Also, I think he’s too young to be a groomsman and even if we made him one it would make the number of attendants uneven and I hate that. He’s too old to be a ring bearer, and I want that to be my son’s sole job. I thought about a reading, but think he may be too young to take it seriously.
He was really excited last year being in the other brother’s wedding, so I want him to be excited for ours as well. I want his role to be significant, but separate from the two above.
I desperately need your ideas because everyone’s already buzzing about who is going to do what so I want to share with him sooner than later how he will be included. HELP!
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
wow, if that date is correct, you don’t have much time! Could you add a jr bridesmaid to your side and add him as a jr groomsman to his? My jr bridesmaid wore a dress that was the same color, but that she picked out herself, so it wasn’t even any work for me. You can see her on the left in this picture- she’s my 16 year old step sister whom we really wanted to include. She actually did escort our 5 year old brother down the aisle so that he wouldn’t chicken out.
Post # 4
@MeiFrancis: LOL – It’s 10/4/2014, I just updated my profile, didn’t realize I had the year wrong! Whoops!
I thought about selecting a jr bridesmaid from my side, but the only option I have is my youngest cousin on my moms side (I have 15 cousins on my mom’s side that i’m very close to)… however, I feel strange selecting just her out of the 15, so I didn’t know if I wanted to go there. I was hoping to find another way to include him
Post # 5
@Sugarbee711: How about Head Usher? Really, ushering is not that hard and there can be an adult standing by incase he gets nervous. Let him decide where to seat people during the cermony, to escort people in and to “command” all the other ushers.
I think most adult men (and women for that matter, too) would give the young man his due.
Post # 6
@searock: that’s a good idea – i just worry if it doesn’t seem important enough?
Post # 7
Have him AND your son be ring bearers.
I had 3 ring bearers. They were 8, 10, and 14. Honestly, they were like a “ring entarage” (Spelling?) ha.
and they liked all walking together, also.
If you don’t want that, then have him do a reading. Not a religious sentimental one with words he doesnt know from the bible, maybe a more neutral-poem or something that would be age appropriate 🙂
Post # 8
@Sugarbee711: I agree with usher – but also dress him in the same suit/tux as the groomsmen. That adds a bit more honour/prestige to the role. I’ve been to a couple of weddings which did this; and in fact in one case it was a boy about 13, the bride’s son.
Post # 9
@Sugarbee711: Are you doing any kind of ceremony (like a sand ceremony, candles, ring warming, etc??)? Maybe he could he have some part in that… like lighting the two candles for a unity candle ceremony, or bringing up the individual containers of sand for you and your hubby for a sand ceremony, or for a ring warming he could be the one who delivers the rings to the audience and then returns them to you after the blessings?
We did a tree planting ceremony. I LOVED it.. it was perfect! But if you did a tree planting ceremony, his little brother could bring up each of the important items – bring up the trowel to scoop the dirt and the watering can to water the sapling. Usually, tree planting ceremonys involve planting a tree into the ground.. we just repotted a sapling into a bigger, fancier pot (we wanted to plant the tree in our own yard when we buy a house!) – it’s all about symbolism anyway. 🙂
Post # 10
i agree with the usher suggestion. you could also have him escort your or your fiance’s mother or grandmother down the aisle.
Post # 11
@Sugarbee711: Give him some real responsibility….let him call the shots as usher and make sure the other men who are ushers are happy to respect that….
Post # 12
It’s a bit late now, but my younger brother and sister are being junior bridesmaid and groomsman. Their responsibilities involve, turning up, looking good, being lovely, being in photos and having fun being involved in such a grown u event 🙂
Post # 13
@Sugarbee711: Date twins 🙂 we are having my FI’s brother (also 13) escort his step sister (8) as a junior bridesmaid/groomsmen.
Post # 14
I think he is old enough to be a groomsman, and I don’t understand needing even sides, but is seems important to you.
If you can’t make him a groomsman, he could usher in him mom, g’ma, and any other family VIPS.
Post # 15
Thanks for all the great advice 🙂 I ended up selecting a jr bridesmaid and am going to have them walk together 🙂