(Closed) Need MIL advice

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It sounds like she is upset with you. Can you think of any reason why she might be upset?

Post # 4
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@vanilla44:  I say let her have her space. If she comes around great, if not, live your life.

Post # 5
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@vanilla44:  I’m sorry you’re feeling distressed about this relationship.

I tend to be a very direct person. Given that you’ve known her and been a part of the family for so long, why not just ask her? Make time to go see her or call her. If it were me, I’d begin with something like “I used to enjoy having such a close friendship with you. I’ve noticed a shift in that lately. Is there something I’ve done that’s bothering you? If so, I’d feel better knowing, so I/we can make repairs if needed” etc etc….

The worst that can come of it is she blows your hair back venting about a million things you had NO idea about. Then, you pick it apart, apologize where and if needed and move on. Or, she says she thinks you’re crazy and has “no idea” what you’re talking about. Then, at least you’d have the satisfaction of knowing you did the right thing to try to appeal to her and make things right. 

Just a suggestion based on what I would do. I simply cannot stand having strife in my relationships, and it’s better to get a hold on it earlier than later. 

Best of luck to you dear!

Post # 6
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

Okay first of all, I’m REALLY happy that your dad is fine. A biopsy is such a huge scare. About your Mother-In-Law, she sounds totally weird. I mean, I can understand her being pissed with you for some arcane reason but at least she could have confided in her son. And irrespective of her own feelings towards you, she should at least have the courtesy of commenting on your dad’s biopsy. Like it or lump it, you belong to her family and your worries should be something of her concern. My advice? Just blow her off. Don’t pay any attention to her and be as cold and indifferent as she is. If she asks you or tells your husband, let them know that you are pissed about her lack of comment on your father’s health issue. If she has a problem let her come to you with it. Don’t go asking for more snarkiness. That is my point of view.

Post # 8
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@vanilla44:  Yay! I hope today is a turn for you and her! Family life is so important, and can be Difficult to maintain 😉 

I forgot to mention earlier, congratulations for your fathers good news. Have a wonderful thanksgiving today!!!

Post # 9
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

@vanilla44:  Yay, for as long as she stays cordial with you! Hopefully forever. Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving!

Post # 10
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Man if I worried about every shitty thing my Mother-In-Law has said to me or every time she’s been rude, you’d be watching over me in the psych ward!  She’s prob pissed about SOMETHING since she’s been ok with you previously, but act casual like everything is all good.

She’ll either come around on her own and realize she’s being a dumbass OR she’ll hold a grudge forever, either way live your live without worry in the mean time and be cool as long as she is civil.

Post # 11
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Mother-In-Law is very cold to other people. We make a point to never separate when we’re around her so that my husband always hears what she says. If she gets weird or cold he can redirect The conversation or say, “Mom that’s not appropriate.”

ETA: My Mother-In-Law is somewhat subtle with her rudeness. It took a while for my husband to see what she is doing. Once he did notice it he realized she has done the same thing to her step daughter, niece, and countless others. She’s probably not just being this way to you. 

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